Page 22 of Xander

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Eyes that a man could get lost in.

And that told me one thing.

I needed to steer clear of her.

Far fucking clear of her.

But what I thought... and what would occur... what I wanted didn’t matter.

Not one fucking bit.

And I would also come to find out... that I needed it.

Needed it in a way I needed oxygen to breathe.

***

I was sitting in a chair in the back of the property.

My eyes were staring unseeingly at the fire that blazed.

Thoughts of my childhood.

Thoughts of how many times I wanted to just be done.

Thoughts of how maybe I would be better off pulling my 9mm out and blowing my brains out.

Because who wants to remember the times when you knew that if you weren’t smart enough, quick enough, or even fast enough, someone was going to take something from you that you didn’t want to give?

That was why I felt a tick form in my jaw when I caught sight of her as she made her way over to where I was sitting.

Normally, people avoided me like the plague.

And tonight... after a dream I had last night... the only thing I wanted was to be left alone.

I sat there as she made her way over.

And I kept sitting there as she opened her mouth to speak.

I caught the nervous way she bit her bottom lip.

And then I felt something as I heard her talk.

Something deep and foreign.

Unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.

Calming.

Soothing.

Relief.

“Umm, hi. I hope I’m not interrupting, but well, you see, I love astronomy. And tonight, the Milky Way is supposed to be visible, and well, I won't be able to see it if I sit near the fire, so if it’s okay with you, I’m going to lay my blanket down over here. I just didn’t want to interrupt you,” she said.

I told myself to snap at her.

I told myself to shake my head.

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