Page 39 of The Sweetmate
Lisa side-eyes me. “Yet we’re running this whole campaign on your personal life. You wanted a fake girlfriend!”
“Yeah, but that’s fake.” I regret the words as soon as they leave my mouth. The hurt that flashes across her face is a knife to the chest. There’s nothing I can say, so I clear my throat and mumble for us to go. I didn’t mean for it to come out so harsh and as though I don’t care about Lisa. I do. I’m tense about anything relating to my nieces and nephews. Their dad is just like my dad – an asshole.
“I’ll meet back up with you.” Lisa tells me as soon as we walk through the sliding doors. She needs her space, so I give it to her. I head straight for the dolls. My nephew Brox Jr., but I call him BB. Because no way in hell am I calling him after my uncle or junior. So BB for Brox Brunner. Anyways, he wants a doll and my uncle would die before he ever purchased one for his son, who is also his namesake. Being as I was a young boy wanting cooking toys from the girl section of the store, I get what my nephew is going through. He’s five and he likes watching the same movies with his older sisters. He enjoys the catchy songs and wants to play with the dolls and reenact the movie with them.
I stand in the doll section at a loss. I’m not prepared for all the different outfits for the same doll. Taking each box, I read the descriptions on the back. This is when she throws her sister a party in the spring. This one is orientation day. That’s exciting, but which one is from the main song and she builds an ice castle…
“Is this for your niece?” I jump at the sound of Lisa’s voice.
“No.” I tell her. “My nephew. He watches this movie on repeat with his sisters. BB talks about it all the time when we videochat. There’s two dolls here and both show her on the back with the castle. Which one is the main dress though? White or blue?”
“The blue.” Lisa says with so much confidence I can hardly doubt her.
“Thanks.”
“You’re a pretty cool uncle.”
“I know.” I shrug and take the doll.
Lisa chuckles and then follows me to the gift-wrapping section. We get the doll wrapped and Lisa tells me she can mail it for me tomorrow while I’m filming. We’ve seemed to leavebehind the awkwardness from what I said earlier. I saw the hurt in her eyes, and the last thing I ever want to do is bring her sadness or pain. A part of me wants to bring it back up, but I decide against it.
***
“I have an idea.” The fact that Lisa sounds excited shouldn’t scare me yet it does. I’m in the middle of trying out a new recipe in our little private room kitchen.
“Go on…”
“Let’s make a video showing how sexy baking is. How hot it is for a guy to be baking.”
I roll my eyes. “A thirst trap? No. I don’t want to be famous for looking good, I want to be famous for tasting good. That didn’t come out right. I want to be a respected chef.”
“But what if it’s for the greater good?” She argues.
“If it involves losing my dignity, I don’t think it is.” I stop whisking my yolks and stare at her. “Let me get this straight. We’ve been trying to rebrand and improve my image from a playboy and now you want to turn me into a sideshow thirst show? Eye candy for women?”
“It’s not like I’m whoring you out.”
“But aren’t you? You want to use my body for views. No. I’m more than a pretty face. If the roles were reversed, you’d be livid.”
“Fine.”
The rest of the afternoon is spent in silence. I’m not sure what to say honestly, because I feel like Lisa still sees me as this shallow side show pony. I’m not always happy-go-lucky. I want respect. Shouldn’t she understand that better than anyone?
My cupcakes go untouched left decorated to perfection on the counter. I crawl into bed and turn on my side, giving her my back.
In the darkness Lisa whispers. “I think we should talk.”
“I’m listening.”
“I wasn’t.” Lisa confesses. Her arm wraps around my waist.
“What?”
“I wasn’t listening to you.”
“No, I’m just agitated. I’m projecting. I get in my head anytime I think about my dad and uncle. Macho bullshit. I’m sorry.” I roll onto my back. “I shouldn’t have iced you out this afternoon.”
“No. I should’ve thought it through before I suggested it. I went down thesex salesdesperation avenue.”
