Page 9 of A Very Gay Halloween
"I've been trying to figure you out for two years," he continues when I don't respond. "Did I do something? Say something?"
"No."
"Then what?"
I sigh. "Can we just... not do this?"
"No." His voice drops even lower, more intense. "We're doing this."
The music shifts to something with more electronic elements, all synthesized beats and haunting melodies that seem designed to soundtrack bad decisions. The carved pumpkin between us flickers, casting moving shadows across Cooper's face.
"You owe me at least that much," he says. "After all the shit you've put me through."
"I never asked you to—"
"To what? Care? Because I did care, August. We were supposed to be brothers."
The word hits me like a punch to the chest.Brothers. That's exactly what we were supposed to be, and exactly what I couldn't handle. The whole Greek system is built on that concept—brotherhood, loyalty, having each other's backs no matter what.
But you're not supposed to want to fuck your brother.
The thought slams into me with enough force to make me flinch, and Cooper catches it. His eyes narrow slightly, like he's trying to read the expression that just flickered across my face.
My hands are shaking now, just barely, but enough that I have to set my water bottle down before I drop it.
He's not going to let this go. I can see it in his expression, in the set of his shoulders.
In the way he's leaning forward like he's prepared to sit here all night if that's what it takes.
And maybe I'm tired of carrying this alone. Maybe I'm tired of making everything so fucking hard when it could be simple.
"You really want to know?" I ask, looking down at my hands instead of meeting his eyes.
"Yeah. I do."
I can feel him watching me, waiting. The party continues around us, but it might as well be happening on another planet.
"I..." The words stick in my throat like they're coated in tar. "Fuck. This is so stupid."
"Just say it."
I force myself to look up and meet his eyes. The candlelight makes them look darker than usual, more intense.
"I liked you, alright?" The words come out in a rush, like ripping off a band-aid. "I liked you and I didn't... I couldn't handle it."
There's a pause. Cooper's expression doesn't change, but something shifts in the way he's holding himself. Like he's suddenly paying even more attention than he was before.
"Liked me how?" he asks.
Of course he's going to make me spell it out. Of course he's not going to let me hide behind vague language and hope he fills in the blanks.
"How do you think?"
"I want you to say it."
My face burns, but I force the words out anyway. "I was attracted to you. There. Happy?"
I expect him to laugh. Or look disgusted. Or at least look surprised. Instead, something that looks almost like satisfaction flickers across his face.
