Page 26 of Rogue If You Want To
Torin already felt bad about the decision everyone agreed was necessary. His heart was tugging at him to mate me and have me join the pack as well. His brain understood all of the reasons that shouldn’t happen.
In my attempt to hide my otter’s distress, I avoided shifting when others around us were. It wasn’t too hard, not with Oak and me getting along so well. Every time a group decided to shift together, I conveniently offered to watch Oak. It was a stop-gap, nothing more. I couldn’t exactly keep this up for long.
If only I could trust my otter not to be an asshat and mark Torin without consent. Doing so would destroy all the work that we’d been doing.
My mate noticed something was up. How could he not? He was as in tune with me as I was with him. I told him it was just the stress of knowing what was going on… and there was a lot of that, but the way he watched me when he didn’t know I was looking told me he was worried. And I had to do something about this, because this wasn’t right or fair for him.
“I’m going on a perimeter run.” Torin bent down and kissed my cheek.
I was sitting on the stoop drinking coffee, trying to figure out what order I should do my to-do list this morning, mostly to keep my brain occupied. It didn’t matter if laundry came before cleaning the bathroom, or if cleaning the bathroom came before helping in the garden. But if I made pros and cons lists of which to do first, it kept me from focusing on the loneliness that was growing inside me, thanks to being the only one here not part of the pack.
“Did you want to come with me?”
Did I? That was the $50,000 question. I very much did, but that would require me letting my otter out, and that didn’t work for me.
“If I walk with you, I could go partway. Maybe I’ll sit down by the river.” It was my favorite place on the land.
“I don’t think I want to leave you at the river alone today.”
It was the first time he’d let me hear his fear so bluntly. He was worried about my brother, and maybe he should be, but I didn’t think Lutris would come all the way here.
Or maybe I knew he would and I didn’t want to acknowledge it. I was getting so good at putting on a happy face that I wasn’t sure which it was.
What a freaking mess.
A few minutes later Larkin came by with Oak and asked what my plans were and when I mentioned I wanted to go by the river, my idea morphed into a whole group project… Creven going with my mate on the run, while Auden, Larkin, Oak, and a few of the pack members and I planned a few hours down by the river.
It was a nice day, and silly me, I thought it was going to stay that way. Being along the river had a lot of benefits, but what it didn’t have was keeping scents available. That was how I didn’t recognize my brother coming until he popped out of the river and shifted in front of all of us.
My heart started to pound in my chest, and I quickly looked for Oak. Nothing could happen to that child because of me. I refused.
Larkin was already on it, handing him to one of the bear shifters who’d joined the pack and asking them to take him home and lock the door. More happened with that conversation, but my eyes were on my brother.
Saying the first word would give him the upper hand. He was here for a reason, and I needed to know exactly what it was. He tried to walk around me, and we ended up doing an odd sort of dance. Every step he took, I took one too.
“Why are you here?” I kept my voice as steady as I could, but it wasn’t good.
“You’re asking the wrong question, twin. The real question you should be answering is the one that has me so perplexed… why are you notdead?”
Growls in the distance had Lutris stepping back. And we all watched the two alphas back from their run.
Lutris held up his hand. “I am here as Alpha of my pack. You can do me no harm. Others know of my arrival.” Why bother with niceties when you can be a dick was apparently my brother’s motto of the day.
Creven shifted back first. “You are not welcome here. As Alpha of the Stoney River pack, I am ordering you to leave.”
“Not without what’s mine.” His eyes were glued to me. Fuck that noise. I wasn’t one of his anything except twin, and that wasn’t something I could do anything about.
“Nothing here is yours.” Creven snarled. “You marked him as discarded. Enough is enough. You can leave. He is no longer affiliated with you or your pack.”
“If only it were that easy, Alpha.” He said it like it was a curse. “You see, there’ve been questions about me and my position, and the only way to alleviate all of that is if this one here pays for his crime.”
My mate’s hand rested on my shoulder. He was right behind me now, and I felt both safe and brave.
“You need to leave. I don’t care what my old pack thinks of you. I do not care at all. They want to vote you out, let them, but I’m not going back there.”
“Oh, isn’t that cute, Brother. You think you have a choice.”
My mate growled behind me. “Our Alpha asked you to leave. It is time to go.”
