Page 19 of Rogue If You Want To
As much as I hated it, I still struggled with not having my own pack. And really, it was less me and more my otter that was suffering. He needed that bond and connection on a level I didn’t. I suspect that if my mate and I had marked each other, he’d be more at ease. But we hadn’t… couldn’t.
I absolutely refused to put Torin in any more danger than he was already in.
Oak signed for more, and I dunked the wand into the bowl, pulled it out, and squatted, this time blowing really slowly, trying to make the largest bubble ever. And I was close, so close, when he grabbed at it and started laughing with vigor once more. I couldn’t even be mad. It was the most adorable thing ever.
He kept signing more, and I kept blowing bubbles until the bowl was nearly dry. When I’d first met them, I had no idea why he was making the gestures he did, and then Auden sat down with me and showed me all the signs his father was teaching him. Unlike me, Larkin had grown up in the human world, and he brought some of their child-rearing techniques with him, including baby signing.
I loved that about this pack. Not the signs specifically, but how they all had very different paths to get here and brought their own loves and traditions with them. It was a beautiful blend of old and new, one they had no intention of setting in stone, the way my pack had done over the years.
The sun was getting pretty high in the sky, and I suspected Oak’s omega father would be back soon. But what I didn’t know was where Creven, Auden, and Torin had wandered off to. They’d been very hush hush the past few days. I knew they were keeping something from me, but I tried to ask in all different ways, always to have the subject changed by one of them.
And when I full-out asked, “What are you keeping from me?” Creven said, “A lot, and I’m Alpha, and my responsibility means not everybody needs to know everything.”
In that moment, he sounded so much like my father and not at all like the Creven I’d been getting to know. I hated being kept in the dark, but also, I understood it, and I gave up—ish. I was still curious and would ask if the opportunity presented itself, but I backed off.
When they were ready to tell me, they would. If I’d been in danger, they wouldn’t keep that from me… at least I didn’t think they would. If I'd been a child or defenseless, maybe, but I was a trained omega and could defend myself despite what tale the incident with my brother and the bears might tell.
“Let’s get you washed up,” I said, straightening up. The bowl was now almost empty, and we needed to quit whether or not we were ready. At least until we went to town for more dish liquid.
I reached for his chubby little hand, and we walked to my steps first. I set the bowl on the stoop of where my mate and I hadbeen sleeping, and walked him over to the spigot where we could rinse off the soap. That was the nice thing about bubbles, they didn’t stain anything. If anything, it could make you cleaner than when you started. I’d never seen that in real life, but I supposed it could happen in the right situation.
“Perfect timing.” Larkin came in with a basket filled with green beans and cucumbers. “I just got done for the day. Shall we make lunch for everyone?”
“Are they going to be here?” I tried never to put Larkin in the middle. That wasn’t fair to him. So even though I probably could get information out of him as to where they’d been, I’d never have attempted to do so.
“I think so.”
The two of us worked together, making cucumber salad to go with the sandwiches, and, of course, a bowl of green beans for me to gnaw on. Although I noticed that the others had been trying it too. Maybe I’d convert them all into raw green bean eaters soon enough.
The truck pulled in almost as if the guys knew it was lunchtime, and they all piled out and jogged over to us.
Creven kissed his mate, my mate gave me a hug, and Auden was busy being babbled to by Oak. It was soooo adorable seeing Auden with his grandbaby. They may not have been blood relations, but everything about their connection was grandfather–grandson. I loved that for both of them
We ate lunch and talked about the weather and the garden and things we might need from town, which confused me, since they just came in the truck. If they hadn’t been in town, where were they?
But we had little ears, and we kept everything light and airy. Protecting a pup from the struggles of adulthood was the right thing to do. I knew that firsthand.
I helped clean up the dishes as Oak was put down for a nap, the plan that we would all reconvene for some tea in half an hour. We often had tea after a meal, but this was different. Auden made it pretty clear that this was more than just having a cup of warm liquid and relaxing with friends.
“You have some news, don’t you?” I sat down, my shirt damp from my rushing the dishwashing not to be late.
I reached for my mate’s hand and intertwined our fingers, my eyes on Creven. As Alpha, it felt like protocol to have the questions go to him first. They didn’t have the strict rules my old pack did, but they were so ingrained in me that I tended to follow the ways of my old life a tad too much.
“Yeah, we have some news.” Auden met my eyes. “Your father has died. I’m so sorry.”
And the really twisted, messed-up part was, I wasn’t sorry. Not in the tiniest bits. He’d been a shitty man, a horrible Alpha, and an abusive father. Let the goddess have him.
“Did my brother challenge him?”
He shook his head. “But your brother is Alpha.”
Something about that didn’t settle well with me. My father stepping down? Sure, that had always been the plan. My brother being evil and challenging him because he didn’t want to wait for the power? Absolutely, I could see that. If he’d been sick? Sure. But any other path where my brother took over? Not so much.
They didn’t offer any more details, and even when I attempted to ask my way to the answers I was seeking, I was thwarted.
I was starting to question if they truly didn’t have any information.
“If you hear anything, will you let me know?” I asked Creven, and he nodded.
