Page 5 of 40 and Flirting (with Disaster)
“What’s wrong?” Scarlett whispered, keeping their conversation just between the two of them.
“I’m tired, Scarlett. I’m just…” She wiped her hand over her wet eyes and wondered if this was what divorce did to women, made them emotional drunks. “I’m just tired. I feel tired. Hell”—she gestured into the air vaguely—“I even look tired. I look in the mirror and wonder who that woman is staring back at me.”
It was as if she’d been unmoored after a quarter of a decade being tied securely in place, and now she didn’t know how to get herself back to safety. On the worst days, she didn’t feel like she had the strength to try.
Scarlett gave her shoulders a squeeze. Her friend looked at her, really looked, and Iris knew she was being seen. “Do you think this is a reaction to the news?”
“Kirk’s news?” When Scarlett nodded, Iris sighed. “I don’t think so.” She’d been feeling this way for weeks. She thought she’d finally gotten through the grief of having a part of her life cut off, but the aftermath wasn’t much better, at least when she allowed herself to acknowledge it. Apparently alcohol broke down all the barriers she’d put up.
Scarlett bumped their shoulders together. “So hanging with me isn’t exciting enough to pull you out of the doldrums?”
Iris smiled, trying to hide the return of her sadness, still lingering inside. “‘Doldrums’? Do people really say ‘doldrums’?”
Scarlett shrugged. “Hey, words are my thing.”
They certainly were; Scarlett was a great writer. But getting back to Scarlett’s question… “When you’re here,” she admitted, hoping her lack of spite came through. The situation was what it was. “You spend as much time in Scotland as you do in Tennessee now.”
Scarlett sighed. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“Why?”
“Because all of this hit at the same time.”
“That wasn’t your fault.” Just because Kirk had chosen to blow things up right before Christmas didn’t mean Scarlett should regret meeting Gavin. The Scotsman made her friend ecstatically happy. “The two of you are perfect together. That’s something to celebrate.”
“Oh, I do.” Scarlett grinned. “Gavin makes sure of it every time he gets me in bed.”
Iris barely refrained from wincing. Of all the things she missed about marriage, sex and the intimacy it provided were at the top of the list.
Scarlett gave her another hug, her mood turning serious once more. “I do wish I could be here for you more.”
“I miss you when you’re gone”—Iris squared her shoulders—“but I’m a big girl.”
Scarlett returned to her seat, and they ordered sopapillas to share. They were halfway through dessert when Scarlett narrowed her eyes on Iris in a way that had her once more squirming in her seat. “You know…”
Her friend’s tone had alarms going off in Iris’s brain. “Know what?”
“I’ve been thinking—”
“Dangerous,” Iris said into her margarita glass.
“Would you stop interrupting me?”
Iris giggled. Uh-oh. Maybe dessert hadn’t soaked up as much of the alcohol as she’d thought. Gavin was definitely going to need to pick them up.
“I was wondering,” Scarlett said, “how about a date? Maybe you need to get out more.”
Her knee-jerk reaction—aside from wanting to throw up—was, “Absolutely not. I have no desire to start dating for a long, long time.” Unlike Kirk. “If ever,” she added. She still stumbled when she called him her ex. Just because he was planning to jump from their marriage into another within six months didn’t mean she wanted to.
Sure, her life got lonely. She went from work at the library to her tiny apartment and back to work, with a stop at the store or a night out with the girls or lunch with her daughter as a rare schedule interrupter. Routine had helped her adapt at first, but the monotony was starting to get to her. That didn’t mean she wanted to add someone else to her mess.
“Why not?” Scarlett frowned. “It doesn’t have to be anything serious.”
“No.” She shuddered. “I haven’t dated in, what, twenty-three years?” Dates with Kirk didn’t count; she’d stopped her futile attempts to impress him years ago. Maybe if she hadn’t…
She slammed that thought down. What had happened had not been about her.
Scarlett was still frowning, but Iris was adamant on this point. No dating.
