Page 88 of Brutal Alpha Beast
“Hi,” I say nervously. “I was just on my way back from the coven.”
My heart beats rapidly, and my mouth is dry. I expect him to be angry. Why wouldn’t he be?
It’s obvious I was lying when I told him that I’d be in the coven the whole day.
After all the lies, I’m bracing myself for him to tell me that he never wants to see me again. Maybe it’s better this way. I’m supposed to be isolating until I get a hold on the situation anyway.
“I know you didn’t go to the coven,” he says.
I freeze as an unsettling sensation creeps down my spine.
“Why would you think that?”
The dark waves of energy within me are spinning out of control.
He knows.
And why can’t I just admit it to him? I’ve never felt this connected to anyone. I feel like he understands me, and yet I can’t bear to tell him the truth.
“Danielle,” he says. “You don’t have to do that.”
“Do what?” I repeat, although my voice sounds high-pitched and unconvincing.
“Lie to me,” he says gently.
I’m bracing myself for anger, but he doesn’t look angry. His auburn eyes are seeing right through the weak defenses I’m trying to put up.
I look away, ashamed. The silence stretches between us, and I hate that I’m the one who’s making this difficult.
“I’m not.”
I can’t tell if my inability to come clean is because of the strange dark energy inside of me, or if it’s just because of me.
Maybe I’m not strong enough to be with him in the way I want to.
That makes me even sadder, and I can’t help the despair that spreads across my face as I look back at him.
“I just can’t explain it yet,” I say, the sympathy in his eyes making me feel even worse. “I want to, but...”
“You don’t have to,” Ellis murmurs, taking a slow step toward me as his eyes scan mine. “I know what’s going on. You’re trying to isolate yourself, aren’t you? Because of that energy and because everyone thinks that it’s related to the curse.”
I don’t speak.
While our pack has been defending me, and the concern about the curse affecting me has been coming more from our allied packs than internally, I know that shifters in our pack must be concerned.
I know that during council meetings, Ellis must be having to defend me. I feel guilty. I feel like how I felt in the past—like I’m requiring too much just to exist.
“How do you know that?” I ask. I’m dying to touch his hard-edged face, and to fall into his arms. But I keep my guard up.
“Because I see you, Danielle. I know that you’ve been trying to distance yourself because you’ve been struggling. I know that it’s related to the energy and the curse, but it doesn’t matter. That doesn’t change anything for me. I’m here for you. You can let me in.”
For a second, I feel some respite. A break from the negative thoughts.
“Are you actually?” I ask him. “Because if you’re not. If this is too much, you can tell me.”
Ellis stares at me for a moment, and then he steps forward again. He pulls me into his arms.
It’s like he’s claiming he is as he does this. He doesn’t take me like I’m fragile, or possibly on the verge of destroying a whole valley.
