Page 87 of Brutal Alpha Beast
He doesn’t want you,an internal voice hisses. He’s using you for sex. For your magic.
How could he want you after all that you’ve done?
I take a deep breath.
No matter how positively I try to think, this feeling, the one that the strange energy has transformed into, worms its way back into my body.
At first, I thought the strange energy was just due to the fact that I’m with child, something I still haven’t told Ellis anything about. I thought maybe it was because my body is still getting used to the new, magical life form growing inside me.
But then, as the days have been stretching on, with no progress on the vines, all my worst fears have slowly become true.
I struggle with dark thoughts and strange, dark, evil feelings on a daily basis. With no idea where they come from.
They turn me against everything. They tell me to harm my pack members and the coven. They haven’t yet told me to hurt Ellis, but they convince me that he hates me.
I’m barely coping with it all.
Maybe I am the latest target of Willow’s curse. Maybe my heart does need to be destroyed?
And what’s worse is that Ellis has been defending me this whole time. Anytime anyone even hints about the fact that I might be dangerous, or says anything to suggest that I may be any less than stable, Ellis is the first to defend me.
But what if he finds out that they’re right? Will he defend me then?
I can’t bear telling him.
Everything is finally going well for us. He’s standing up for me the way that I wished he did all those years ago.
The pack accepts me for who I am. I don’t want to ruin things, not yet. Not until I have to.
I’m about to dip my feet into the water when I hear a noise.
Quickly, I turn my head. My instincts spike. I hear footsteps in the distance, voices, people chattering. They sound like shifters from our pack. What are they doing here?
They’re following you. They don’t trust you, the dark voice says.
Is this what Violet went through?
Before the shifters can reach me, I quickly get up and run away.
Where can I go to be alone and feel safe?
I don’t even need to think about the answer before my legs take me there. I’m running, as though I’m being chased, haunted by voices, and the echoing laughter of my pack mates.
My head is a mess, but luckily, my body knows where to go.
Not long before, I’m at mine and Ellis’ secret spot, cooling my rapid breathing as I lean against the wall of the shed.
At least it’s silent again.
I focus on the melodic chirping of the birds, the subtle drift of the breeze.
You’re fine, I tell myself, as long as you’re isolating by yourself, you’ll be okay.
“I knew I’d find you here.”
I jump at the sound of his voice.
I turn to see Ellis, golden beneath the rays of the sun. I feel like a kid, as though I’m being caught out for misbehaving. As though I’ve done something wrong.
