Page 70 of Brutal Alpha Beast
I’m so panicked that my body doesn’t allow me to cry. I need air, space to breathe.
I decide I can’t go back to the pack, not now. I can’t bear the onslaught of visceral memories that are rising to the surface, reminding me of what was.
The more I think about the past, the less able I’m able to breathe. Being surrounded by all these physical reminders will only exacerbate the situation.
I’ll go to the coven, I decide, and hide out among nature there—alone.
Chapter 18 - Ellis
If I call off my meeting with Sawyer and Jasper, they’ll know that something is up. Calling off internal pack council meetings or having Aaron administer in my place is not ideal, but it’s doable. However, when it comes to our Alpha meetings, it takes an emergency for one of us not to show up.
This is an emergency. But it’s a personal one that I’m not yet prepared to discuss.
“This shit is getting serious,” Sawyer is saying, walking around, inspecting the land as he approaches our meeting room window.
The mood is agitated, tense.
“How’s the land around your pack?” Sawyer asks Jasper.
Jasper is leaning back in his chair, his boots crossed over one another as they rest on the table. In typical Jasper fashion, he’s feigning calmness, but I know things are just as bad for him as they are for us.
“Not great,” Jasper says. “Not as bad as what I’ve seen at Ellis’, but we’re obviously seeing signs of decay too.”
“Have you found out anything else?” Sawyer asks. “Lacey and I have been trying, but that second tapestry just doesn’t make sense.”
“I’ve tried to get the witches to search for vines,” I say absentmindedly at first, but then I clear my throat. I don’t want to seem distracted; Jasper is already pretending not to take this seriously, and I don’t want to join him.
“The books have told us nothing of use, go figure. There’s not much we can do at this point other than prepare to fight.”
“It seems like we’re trying to intercept something that can’t be intercepted,” Jasper murmurs. “I wonder whether the witches might be able to find a better solution to destroying the shadow monsters?”
“Yeah,” Sawyer says. “I don’t think they’re the root of the problem, though. Just a consequence.”
My mind floats to Danielle. I’m still getting memories resurfacing, not as vivid as they were when they all came at once, but little ones popping up every now and then.
Like when I entered this meeting room, for example. I remember coming in here with Danielle. We were just playing around, two bored kids, looking for something to do on a late evening after school.
“This will be your meeting room soon,”I remember her telling me.
She said it in such a sarcastic tone that I remember being confused as to why she wouldn’t be impressed. All the other she-wolves in the pack were, but Danielle was different.
‘You don’t think I should be Alpha?”I remember asking her.
“It’s not that,” she said. ‘I just hope you do a better job.’
I remember feeling confused about what she meant at the time, but knowing who she was and why she was so different, it makes sense.
“Ellis,” Sawyer says. They’re both looking at me now.
“Yep?”
“What about Danielle?”
I tense.
“What about her?”
“The shadow monsters,” Jasper emphasizes. “Does she have any idea about what to do?”
