Page 77 of The Consequence of You
Luca steps towards me. My gaze swings between him and Papa in disbelief.
“It’s true, sorellina. Every girlfriend I’ve had, Papa has known about it. He’s never judged me. He wants me to be happy. He wants you to be happy.”
I can’t believe I’ve never had this conversation with Papa before. He’s clearly had it with my brother. I can’t be mad about it, though. He’s been in Sicily avoiding me.
As if he can read my mind, he steps towards me again.
“Callie. We brought you here today so we could apologise.” I frown. What would they have to apologise to me for? Luca steps forwards.
“After Mama died, I was angry.” He rubs at his chest.
“You had every right to be.” I think back to all the nights he drank himself into oblivion. “And I understand why you can’t forgive me for what I did.”
“You misunderstand me. I was angry at the man who was driving the car. At the paramedics who didn’t save her. At Papa for being in a different country. At you for not answering your phone. I was mad at the whole fucking world. But it was a part of the grieving process. I’m not angry now. I haven’t been for a long time. I miss her. So goddamn much. But I’ve made peace with it.”
His eyes are glassy and he swipes at them with the back of his hand.
“I’ve been happy the last few years. Genuinely happy, and naively, I told myself you were, too. It didn’t occur to me that you felt like this. I’m so fucking sorry, sorellina.”
Before I have time to fully process my brother’s words, Papa speaks,
“I have not been a good father to you. I have been absent more than is acceptable.”
“Papa. I understand. I wouldn’t want to be around me either. Not after I ruined everything for you.”
“I don’t want to hear you say that ever again, child. You didn’t ruin everything.”
“You have just said how perfect your marriage was. You had everything, and my lies ruined it. If Mama hadn’t come looking for me, she’d still be alive today.” A sob bursts from me and once the tears start, they don’t stop. “I am so sorry, Papa. Luca. I wish I could go back and undo it. I wish I’d never met Nico, I wish I’d doneeverything differently. I'm sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.”
Dropping to my knees in the damp grass, I weep. Unable to control the emotion I’ve buried for the last four years. My father kneels beside me, grasping my hands in his.
“Stop, please stop, mia cara. I don’t blame you. It was not your fault. You were being a normal teenager. If we’d have done a better job, you wouldn’t have felt the need to sneak around. If I’d been home that night, I’d have driven to Nico’s. If the weather had been different that night, maybe the other driver wouldn’t have lost control. The man was elderly. He had dementia, and if he’d had family around him, perhaps they would have realised and stopped him driving. There are any number of things that, had they happened differently, may have had a different result. But they didn’t.
That is life. That is the way the world works, Callie.
It’s what I believe, and it’s what your mother believed.”
He pulls me to standing and leads me to her grave. He takes my hand and traces my finger over the engraving. The one that matches my tattoo.
“She believed we should live our lives to the fullest because you never knew what would come next for any of us.”
“But –”
“No. Let me finish. Your boyfriend. He told us some home truths last night, and I am truly ashamed of myself. It should not have taken some little punk turning up at my house for me to realise it. We are the ones who owe you an apology.”
My boyfriend?Asher spoke to my father? Before I canquestion it, Papa leads me to a nearby bench, and the three of us sit down.
“These thoughts of yours should never have been allowed to take hold in this way. We should have had this conversation with you a long time ago. At first, it was just too hard to talk about. I threw myself into my work. I let Rossi and the team care for you as it was too hard.” He looks between my brother and me. “You are both so like her. You share so many of her features and the things about her I loved. I saw them in you, and it hurt.”
Luca puts his hand on Papa’s back as he struggles to compose himself.
“But none of that is a good enough excuse to have missed how you’ve been feeling. At the bare minimum, I should have insisted you carry on with the therapy, but I didn’t even do that. It’s unforgivable and your mother would be ashamed of me.” A tear tracks down my father’s cheek.
He doesn’t blame me? He doesn’t resent me?
“You forgive me?”
“There is nothing to forgive, my child. I can only hope you can forgive your dear Papa?”
