Page 70 of Starfish and Coffee
Matt stiffened when Alex finally pushed him over the edge. His body shook from the intensity of it. His cock ached in the best way possible as pulses of cum were dragged out of his body. He let go of the headboard to clutch at the sheets. He buried his face in the pillow to muffle his shout as wave after wave of pleasure crashed into him.
Alex’s thrusts became hard and erratic as he followed him into the abyss, crying out Matt’s name between a steady stream of obscenities that had always been his orgasmic signature.
They rode out the storm together as the flood of bliss temporarily erased the sadness, and it took a long time for the upsurge to wane. When it did, Matt found himself flat on the bed, his stomach sticky and wet. Alex was draped over him, his cock still buried deep, chest heaving as his warm breaths tickled the nape of Matt’s neck.
Alex brushed Matt’s hair off his sweaty forehead. “Matty,” he hummed endearingly as if the past had never happened. “I love you.”
“Don’t.” Matt closed his eyes, already coming back from the high enough for that to hurt worse than anything.
“I’m sorry,” Alex whispered in a voice choked with emotion. “I wish I could’ve been the man you needed me to be.”
Matt lay there trying to process the apology, knowing it was part of the reason he came back, to actually hear Alex say it. But nothing about it was how Matt imagined, and it did jack shit to make him feel better. Reconnecting didn’t fix anything. It made everything worse—for both of them.
This was a mistake.
Matt knew it, and he wasn’t even sober yet. Fixing the past was almost impossible, especially when Alex didn’t seem any more likely to change his mind than he had when they broke up. If he wanted a do-over, he wouldn’t have named this gamepretend—he’d want it to be real.
“Christ, Alex, you let this all go.” He finally found his bearings and put voice to the one question that had tormented him since he’d left. “Why?”
Alex didn’t answer, and Matt hadn’t expected him to. Instead they both lay there with their demons.
Chapter Sixteen
Alex left for work long before the sun came up. He told Matt he could stay in the house as long as he wanted, but without Alex around there really was no point. The nostalgia was stronger than ever as Matt rolled out of bed and attempted to pull himself together while a hangover pounded at his temples and made his stomach roll.
As he walked out the front door, he noticed the marlin mounted over the door frame and smiled in spite of everything. The pain wasn’t quite as intense as it had been when he’d left it on that early morning before driving back to Atlanta. He could stare at it and appreciate the joy it represented.
He took his time driving back to his mother’s place, admiring the haloed street lamps in the darkness and remembering riding to work with Alex on their matching motorcycles.
It may have been bittersweet, but as the first rays of sunshine started spreading across the dark sky, a tiny spark of optimism inside him made Matt glad he came back. He was too jaded to believe in tomorrows, but they had yesterday. Matt hoped like that marlin above Alex’s door frame the memories would eventually fade the pain and leave him smiling about reconnecting with a man who would always own a piece of Matt’s soul.
Sleep was out of the question as he pulled his shoes off at the welcome mat because his mother didn’t like them on her tiles. He walked in when Charlie opened the door.
“You’re up early,” Matt observed with a bemused smile.
Charlie shrugged, looking tired. He had circles under his eyes and his gray hair was disheveled as he pushed it away from his forehead. “We’ve had a night, Mr. Tarrington.”
Matt paused, giving him a look as any sort of good feeling fell out of him. “What kind of night?”
“Where were you?” His mother’s screech echoed against the tiles. “I’ve been calling you since yesterday evening!”
“I turned off my phone because I’m on vacation, and it never stops pestering me.” Matt turned to his mother and tilted his head. “And I wasn’t aware I needed to check in with you.”
“I want to know where you were,” she demanded as she stopped in front of him, putting her hands on her hips. “You came here to spend time with me, not gallivant all over the island.”
“I came here for a vacation,” he said tiredly. “I chose the island because I enjoy everything it has to offer. I’m almost thirty. You have no control over what I do or where I spend my nights.”
“Were you with him?” she snapped as if she didn’t hear a word Matt had just said.
Matt looked to Charlie, who was doing a very good job at feigning interest in the chandelier. Then he turned back to his mama and said simply, “Yes, I was.”
“The dirty little liar.” She hissed as if having a conversation with herself. “That thief!”
“Okay, I’m going to bed now.”
Even if Matt couldn’t sleep with his mind still buzzing, he was sure there were five hundred e-mails waiting to be answered on his laptop. He hadn’t checked his phone yet, but he didn’t have to. The job was nothing if not consistently tiring and for once it was a relief. Working would certainly be an improvement over standing there listen to his mother lose her mind.
“You’re not walking away from me,” she said as she jumped forward and stood in Matt’s way. “I have something to tell you about that sea urchin.”
