Page 68 of Starfish and Coffee
“Yeah, I’m the one who ruins everything,” Matt said bitterly, feeling like a broken record. “You—”
Alex bit at Matt’s bottom lip, silencing his tirade with a bruising kiss. Alex’s tongue invaded his mouth like he owned it, and Matt moaned in response, sagging in his arms once more as Alex’s soap-and-sea-breeze scent reminded Matt of a magical, carefree time when everything was new and exciting.
For just a moment, Matt felt like he could taste the essence of true love, the sheer joy of finding the other half of his soul in another. Like an addict he clung to him and found himself kissing Alex back.
He’d likely hate himself for it in the morning, but right then he really didn’t give a fuck. He threaded his fingers into Alex’s hair, and he took over, owning Alex’s mouth, drowning himself in the taste of him.
The turnabout was nice, the way it felt like he was abruptly supporting a good portion of Alex’s weight. He used his grip on Alex’s hair to tug his head aside, breaking the kiss to trail his lips down the curve of Alex’s neck.
“Fuck.” Alex bent his knees to give Matt better access as he became lax in his arms. His fingers dug into Matt’s back, and his voice was heavy with raw desperation. “Do you want me to beg? I’ll fucking beg.”
A dark side of Matt wanted it, to push Alex to his knees and make him plead for something he had so carelessly tossed aside, but he didn’t do it. With his lips buried against the dip in Alex’s collarbone, he reached down, cupping Alex’s erection through his jeans and said, “I want it hard.”
“Thank God.” Alex walked backward, still clutching at Matt until he hit the bed. He fell back against the mattress, sprawling out in a way only someone truly handsome and sexual could. He cupped his dick through his jeans, arching his back as if making an offering to Matt. “You give it to me, and I’ll fuck you as hard and long as you want. I’ll do it until neither of us can walk.”
Matt stood there, looking down as Alex stroked himself through his jeans and asked, “Are you forgetting something?”
“Probably forgetting a lot of things.” Alex pulled at the button to his jeans, his gaze on Matt. “Looking at you naked makes my cock hurt. I want you.”
“I noticed.”
Matt watched Alex pull his zipper down, freeing an impressive erection. Alex stroked himself, the head flaring as he thrust into the tight hold of his hand. The sight affected Matt, especially half drunk and more turned on than he could remember being since he’d left Mirabella.
Matt fought for clarity, trying to remind himself of the reality of the situation. “Condoms.”
“Who gives a fuck about condoms?” Alex said dismissively. “I’d die to have you.”
“Jesus,” Matt growled, trying to ignore the cockiness of that statement as he watched Alex fuck his hand. “We’re not boyfriends. I’m not fucking you without condoms.”
“Then here’s hoping you have some, because I’m way out, and I’m fucking you one way or the other,” Alex said, cock still tightly fisted, the head flaring with desperation. “Get ’em. Fast.”
That seemed like bullshit. They were in Alex’s house, in his damn bedroom, and he was the top. He should be dealing with the condom issue. Instead of raging, Matt stormed out of the bedroom wearing only his socks and went to search for his khakis abandoned in the other room. He pulled out his wallet and found a string of condoms. He tossed his wallet aside and walked back into the bedroom to catch Alex exactly where he’d left him, jerking off to the idea of them fucking.
“I want you to tell me why I’m the one providing the condoms,” Matt said, three condoms hanging between his fingers.
Hesitance showed on Alex’s face as he stopped stroking himself. “Honestly?”
“It’d be nice.” Matt snorted, trying very hard not to lose his temper. “I’m not a high-maintenance bottom, but I’d appreciate a little respect. If you planned on fucking me, you should have made sure you had some.”
“I didn’t know I was going to fuck you,” Alex admitted, looking away from Matt. “And it’s been a long time since I’ve needed condoms. My hand’s been my only companion for a while now.”
“How long?” Matt asked, trying to hide his shock. The Alex he knew fucked every chance he could get.
“My last day off was Christmas,” Alex reminded him, turning back to meet his gaze. “It’s been areallylong time. I share a bed with Holly, for Christ’s sake. I don’t go anywhere. I work, I come home, and I pass out. That’s my life.”
“You’re unhappy?”
“Yes,” Alex agreed, the misery sounding in his voice as he arched an eyebrow at Matt. “I’m sure you’re pleased to hear it.”
Actually, he wasn’t. Matt was depressed as hell to hear it, if for no other reason than it brought his own unhappiness sharply to the forefront of his consciousness. Matt more than anyone understood working himself into the ground to hide from his demons.
Clearly done with talking and confessions, Alex leaned up on the bed and kissed at the curve of Matt’s waist as he ran his hands up the line of Matt’s spine. Matt felt weak to the moment, and it was such a bittersweet emotion. To know there was a side of him that was still vulnerable. He’d been living such a cutthroat corporate existence, broken up with quick, harsh interludes in dark corners of gay clubs when life became too much. It was nice to know he could still feel and hurt and ache for something so badly that he’d willingly toss aside everything, even his pride, to taste it.
He should have put up a bigger fight, knowing this was going to hurt in the long run, but he let Alex seduce him instead. Why the fuck not? He was drunk enough to have an excuse in the morning.
Matt laced his fingers in Alex’s hair, holding him near as Alex licked and kissed his way up to one of Matt’s nipples. Alex sucked, then bit lightly and Matt’s knees jerked because the sensation went straight to his cock.
“Come here, baby,” Alex mumbled against the muscles on Matt’s chest, using his hold on Matt’s back to pull him closer. “I need you spread out on this bed.” His hand slid lower, one finger slipping between the crack of Matt’s ass. “’Cause I’m gonna do some seriously sinful shit to this gorgeous body of yours.”
