Page 64 of Starfish and Coffee
“No.” Matt set his beer down and looked to the table without glancing at the cards in his hand. His cheeks grew flushed in a way that was more than the beer. When he spoke again, his voice was low and breathy. “Why not ask if I have a boyfriend?”
Alex raised his eyebrows, feeling a strange combination of desire and wild envy wash over him. “Are you letting some guy fuck you?” he asked angrily, hating the idea of Matt beneath anyone but him. “Someone who’snotme?”
“O-kay,” Holly said with a long drawn out sigh. “That just went right into TMI land.”
“Do you care?” Matt countered, his eyes narrowed in both challenge and hurt. “It’s not like you want it.”
“Oh, I want it,” Alex admitted before he could stop himself, the surge of longing making him see red when he thought of Matt getting fucked by some horny asshole who didn’t appreciate what he was getting. “I hate the idea of someone else’s—”
“You are drunk,” Holly cut him off. “Really, Alex. I don’t think you realize how much you’ve been drinking.”
Alex turned to her, suddenly not giving a shit about anything but Matt sitting across from him after six long years apart. What the fuck was he doing playing poker with Holly when he could be making up for lost time?
“You win.” He reached for the stack of money in front of him and pushed all of it toward her. “Game over.”
Holly stared back at him, her eyes narrowed as if considering the situation. He saw her concern, knowing she hadn’t planned on he and Matt getting buzzed off their asses out of nervousness. He couldn’t remember the last time he had drunk enough to lose all his good sense, and it had obviously taken her by surprise. He was about to make one of the biggest mistakes of his life, and she knew it.
“You know you’ve had one too many.” Holly’s eyes widened in warning. “It’s loosened your tongue.”
“Yes, I realize that,” he said, also widening his eyes in silent communication. “I don’t plan on doing a whole lot of talking. Is your phone ringing?”
“I guess.” Holly threw down her cards and got up.
Alex waited until she’d gone into the bedroom before he leaned forward, giving Matt a long, hard look. “Do you have a boyfriend?”
Matt stared him down, giving off the air of a very successful man who wasn’t used to backing down from a challenge. He finally took another drink of his beer and said against the rim, “Not currently.”
“But you have?” Alex swallowed hard against the jealousy thick in his throat. “You’ve fucked other men besides me?”
“What does it matter?”
“I just wanna know.” The emotions were choking the air out of Alex’s chest.
“Yes,” Matt finally confirmed, meeting Alex’s gaze steadily. “Sometimes I miss it, and I remedy the situation. I’ve been with other men.”
Alex actually buried his face in his hands, the long, cooling breaths he was trying to take in to keep from coming apart muffled by his fingers. “It?” he finally questioned, trying to focus on anything that wouldn’t make him lose his temper, or worse, make him break down and start crying. “What do you miss?”
“I’m not going to answer that.”
Alex peeked through his fingers, seeing Matt glaring at him with an icy-eyed stare that could be incredibly unnerving.
“I’ve missed you,” Alex whispered, knowing it was the beer making him reveal things he shouldn’t. “So much.”
“I have a phone. You could’ve called me,” Matt said, appearing unmoved by Alex’s raw emotions. “Have you changed your mind?”
Alex bit down on his tongue to keep himself from admitting he had never wanted this, not for one moment in six long, miserable years. Finally he shook his head, not daring to speak, because Matt would hear the lie.
“Damnit, Alex!” Matt pushed away from the table and stood, looking as if he might actually hit Alex. He ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath as he looked toward the ceiling. “I shouldn’t have come here.”
“It was my mother,” Holly said drily as she walked into the kitchen, not even attempting to make a believable lie. “I need to stay at her place tonight.”
“Bye,” Alex said in a flat voice, still speaking into his hands.
“You’re not gonna drive?” Holly asked Matt, obviously sensing the dissention in the room that had blossomed since she’d left.
“No, I’ll sleep on the couch and leave in the morning.”
“Okay, snowbirdie.” Holly’s voice was soft, and Alex peeked through his fingers once more to see her patting Matt’s arm in sisterly affection. “I’ll see you.”
