Page 25 of Starfish and Coffee
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Matt sat on the upstairs porch of the house he’d rented, drinking and watching the tourists enjoy the last few hours of daylight. Alex never gave him a commitment about tonight, and the not knowing was driving Matt crazy enough to need something to take the edge off. He started drinking early with the thought this little affair was going to make him an alcoholic.
He wasn’t drinking cheap whiskey either. He was downing some of the scotch his mother kept for entertaining. There was so much of it at the other house she wouldn’t notice Matt had swiped it when he stopped by for his dutiful son visit to hear her bitch about all the ways he wasn’t his father. Now she had his stint at Frank’s café to add to the list of fuckups. The wordstrashandutter waste of timehad left her mouth at least a dozen times before Matt had stolen the liquor and left.
It was nice too. Very old, very smooth, and went down far too easily.
Even with the warmth of eighty-year-old scotch working to loosen his muscles, Matt was still edgy and frustrated. Only he could find a way to finally leave the stress of college behind, take a year off before he completed his transformation into his father, and wind up in a situation that left him more prone to an anxiety attack than the rest of it.
And he’d done it in less than a week—that was a special trick.
Matt took another drink, savoring the way it rolled down his throat like warm honey, thinking Alex would appreciate it too. Then he found himself wishing the tall blond were there with him. Which would have been crazy if Matt wasn’t honest enough to admit to himself that he’d been drawn to Alex for a very long time. He’d known since his teens he was very likely bisexual, and Alex had always been at the top of his list of guys he found eye-catching. He was attracted to men, no question, but he liked girls too. At least, he thought he did until last night made him start questioning everything.
Girls were fun, but Alex blew his mind.
It had Matt wondering if he’d just been doing what he always did—following the rules and letting himself be molded into the vestige of all the Tarringtons before him. He fucked girls because that was what he was supposed to do. It felt good and took the edge off, but he’d never been one of those men who lived and breathed for the next hookup. Not once did Matt understand all the crazy shit his friends would do for pussy. He’d never had the urge to toss responsibility aside for a beautiful woman, but he was willing to do something that’d put his mother on medication for the rest of her days to be with Alex Hunter.
That was very eye-opening.
What if hewasgay? What if he’d been destined for a lifetime of disappointment now that he knew how good it could really be? What if it got better? Matt got the distinct impression he and Alex had just scratched the surface of what they could do together, and he’d been on edge all day because of it.
Somehow that thought ruled out all the rest, the idea of not knowing, of missing out on something even more phenomenal than the first encounter. It was a hard notion to let go of when Matt felt like he’d already gotten on the plane with his one-way ticket to the life of his father, who’d died at fifty-five stressed out and unhappy, married to a woman he despised and a job that drained him body and soul. If Alex could give him a few memories to sustain him through that horrible existence, Matt wanted a taste of it.
As if the universe heard his plea, the roar of a motorcycle drifted around to the back of the house, and Matt dropped his feet from their resting place on the railing. Not sure if he could hear the doorbell all the way across the house when he was on the second-story balcony, he set his drink on the table beside him, got up, and opened the sliding glass door.
Then he stood there, body tense with hopeful expectation—listening.
When the doorbell rang, his heart jolted. Even as he rushed into the master bedroom he knew this wasn’t just sex. It felt like something more, but what it was exactly, he wasn’t sure. Certainly not love, but there was that pull inside him. It’d been less than a week, but he found himself wanting to be around Alex constantly.
What the fuck was that?
An obsession? Lust? Need?
Hell, maybe it was just the sex, and he simply hadn’t been hooking up with the right people. That had to be it, because he’d never felt this alive before. This excited to be young and healthy and good-looking.
By the time he made it downstairs and into the foyer, he was half ready to confess to being fully gay for no other reason than he couldn’t find another explanation for what he was feeling.
Matt pulled open the front doors, trying to force his shoulders to fall into a more casual stance. Alex stood there, helmet under one arm, a twelve-pack of beer under the other, and a worn backpack over his shoulder. Streaked hair pushed back away from his tan face despite the ride as if he made sure to run his hands through it. Faded jeans that fit his long legs well. Black T-shirt almosttootight, showing off the outline of hard muscles and clinging to his biceps. It was a different look for Alex. He was usually more casual in shorts or a swimsuit, loose, worn T-shirts, and a baseball hat, but this worked amazingly well.
Matt immediately lost his cool and stood there staring.
“You gonna invite me in?” Alex finally asked, the annoyance heavy in his voice.
“Sorry.” Matt stepped back, letting Alex walk in. “You look different.”
“Yeah, I figured I’d dress the part,” he said drily and looked up at the chandelier hanging in the foyer.
“Part?” Matt repeated as he tilted his head and eyed the way those jeans hugged Alex’s ass.
“Never mind,” Alex said in exasperation. “Are you gonna take the beer? Tell me where to set down my helmet and backpack in this museum? Be a fucking host of some sort?”
Matt immediately grabbed the beer and shrugged off concern over Alex’s gear. “You can set your stuff anywhere. It’s not my mother’s place.”
Alex set the helmet on the table in the foyer and then followed Matt into the kitchen before tossing his backpack on the counter. “You might wanna put those in the fridge. Let ’em settle from the ride.”
Matt turned to him curiously as the two of them stood there in the large, open kitchen, and asked, “Why’d you come?”
Alex shrugged. “I guess I feel like being an experimental phase.”
