Page 154 of The Holy Grail
Chapter 49
A big fucking bed
“Holy shit,” Evan muttered. “That’s … a big fucking bed.”
Jules had to agree and figured it had come with a big fucking price tag, too—especially with all new bedding—but decided to keep that to herself. Instead, she asked, “How big is it, exactly?”
“Ten feet wide and nine feet long,” Malcom answered. “It’s an Alaskan King Biggie Smalls.”
“When did you do this?” Evan wanted to know.
“I bought it a few days ago, and had it delivered yesterday.”
“It’s the biggest fucking bed I’ve ever seen.”
“Well, we needed more room.” Malcom gave Jules a quick glance. “There’s been a few complaints.”
Ignoring the look, she deadpanned, “Well, thank God they didn’t go unheard.”
“Speaking of complaints,” Evan began, quickly pivoting, “I think we need to re-evaluate who sleeps where, because Jules is the only one who wakes up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, and she’s not very careful when she climbs over me to get out of bed—”
“Or me,” said Malcom.
“—and she’s not very careful when she climbs over me to get back into bed—”
“Or me.”
“—so I think—”
“No,” Jules cut Evan off. “I know what you’re going to suggest—”
“That you sleep on the outside?” Malcom asked. “Because I concur.”
Jules shook her head. “That’s a hard ‘no’.”
Evan made a face. “Why?”
She made a face back at him. “Because I don’t like being on the outside.”
“Well, I don’t like being trampled in the middle of the night.”
“Same,” Malcom said.
“Trampling? There’s no trampling.” She gave both men a stern look. “I don’t even know why you’re saying that.”
Evan took a deep breath. “Look, I know you’re smoking hot and all that, but compromise is the cornerstone of all relationships, you know.”
Despite appreciating the ‘smoking hot’ compliment, Jules was more focused on the last part. “That sounds like something David would say.”
“Because itissomething he said. And it’s true, which is why I borrowed it from him to use in this particular moment.”
“Well, here’s what I have to say about compromise: the person who’s potentially going to get double-penetrated in the future on a regular basis—okay, maybe not on aregularbasis, maybe more like asemi-regular basis—is the one who gets to sleep in the middle of the bed.”
Malcom gave Evan a commiserating,Well, we tried, pat on the shoulder. “She wins.”
“Seriously?”
“I know what side my bread is buttered on,” Malcom said with a shrug.
