Page 92 of Quest for her Knights
Chapter twenty-nine
Ranger
She’s trying to kill me.
Glancing over my shoulder yesterday and seeing her moan and thrust her hips against Arrow’s hand as they rode behind me was pure torture.
My mind and heart are in absolute turmoil right now. I feel terrible. I haven’t said a word to her since I found out she overheard me saying those lies two days ago.
I knew they were lies, I knew it when I said them. But lying to myself felt like the only way to keep my distance from her.
Of course she wasn’t just a fucking job. And of course her happiness matters. I was so confused by my attraction to her that it messed with my head. Knowing she asked Blaze to kiss her had me wondering what I would do if she asked me… and I don’t think I could’ve said no either. It made me feel weak. And that made me angry.
I’m supposed to be the strong one. I’m not just the leader of this group, I’m the commander of the entire royal guard. I had no right to feel the way I did about the princess… even if she did want me.
But now the others have claimed her. Even my own brother has chosen to be with her, and I have no idea where that leaves me, or us.
What will the kings and Queen say when we return? Will they throw us in prison? As much as they might refuse to allow us to be together, I’m pretty sure it’s not a punishable crime. Unless they call it treason or claim we went against orders. They rule fairly, so I have to hope they’ll understand the situation. Elora isn’t really their daughter. And if she doesn’t want to marry one of the lords they’ve picked out for her, maybe they’ll understand that… eventually. Possibly.
The real problem is—I don’t know what to do.
Do I want her?
Abso-fucking-lutely.
Could I go against my oath as a knight to be with her?
Yes, in a heartbeat.
Would she even want me after what I said?
Doubtful.
But do I deserve to be with her?
No.
“Earth to Ranger.”
“Hmm?” I look to the side and see Arrow riding along beside me.
Glancing over my shoulder I see Elora riding with Draven and Blaze bringing up the rear. Wasn’t she riding with Blaze? How long had I zoned out for?
“I asked if you’re okay.”
“Yeah, fine,” I mutter, turning back to watch the path and the woods around us. I’m lucky we weren’t attacked while I was distracted.
“You can lie to yourself, but don’t lie to me.”
“Excuse me?” I ask, surprised by his tone.
“I know you’re not okay. Why don’t you talk to me about it?”
“You wouldn’t understand.”
“Gee, thanks. I guess I’m just your dumb little brother who doesn’t know any better.”
I sigh in frustration. “That’s not what I meant, Arrow.”
