Page 49 of Right Where You Left Me
I unfortunately don’t have the pleasure of doing that because I have a tiny twenty-three-year-old pressed into my side, scrolling on her phone and humming to my music, and a massive pain in the ass sprawled out at the foot of my bed. These two fucks have been here all morning and won’t leave me alone.
I shift my foot and kick River in the kidney. He grunts, but stays put. “Can you both kindly fuck off? How is the shop running if the two of you are here?”
“I cancelled all our appointments for the weekend and closed the shop. Said we had a family emergency.”
I bolt upright. “Oh my God. River.”
He looks at me confused. “What…?”
“Their deposits? Oh my fuck. Did you give them their deposits back? And Peyton, please tell me you got them all rebooked.”
“Sage, I’m so glad to see life in you that I’m not even offended that you think we’re that incompetent. Of course we gave their deposits back and rebooked them.” River drawls.
“Okay.” I take a deep breath. “That’s— that’s good.”
“Now that we have your attention,” Peyton starts, “would you like to talk about why you haven’t left your bedroom since lunchtime yesterday?”
“I’m sure you are well aware of what happened.”
I can feel the look they exchange without even seeing it.
“Would you like to tell us your side of things?” Peyton says softly. “All we know is that River found Emma crying and that you guys broke up.”
“You want to know what happened?” My voice goes up an octave and I can feel myself vibrating. “What happened is I sat through the most awkward lunch of my entire life. Where I sat there and watched Emma and her ex-husband pal out and laugh and touch and just— just be all coupley. I know Emma thinks she wants to be with me. But I know what I saw. The two of them should be together. They clearly are still a unit. And I was just there, a third fucking wheel on a date withmygirlfriend. All my worst fears were confirmed and I had all the proof I needed. I ended things before she could be the one to hurt me.”
“That is fucking bullshit, Sage.” River snaps, “and you know it is.”
He sits up to look me in the eyes. I jolt a little because River rarely ever gets angry. I think I’ve only heard him raise his voice once and it was to talk over a rude client.
“It is not!” I say defensively. “You didn’t see them together!”
“No, I didn’t.” He agrees. “But I did see the wreckage you left of that girl when you locked her out and left her alone in the living room. She wasbroken, Sage. I honest to God thought she was injured when I walked in that door.”
I let out a wounded sound.Emma.I didn’t want her to be broken, I just know what she needs. And it isn’t this… it isn’t me. No matter how much we want it to be.
“Well, it’s for the best.” I say woodenly.
“For the best.” Peyton echoes, but the words sound hollow. She nudges River with her foot, the two of them have a silent conversation that I’m sure they rehearsed before coming in here.
River leans into my space, his eyes hard, and it’s jarring enough to see him this angry with me that I swallow down the sarcasm I was about to lash at him. “What?” I say instead.
“You used your past as a weapon to hurt her because you were feeling vulnerable and you didn’t like it.”
“No I?—”
“You did. You were being dense and you invalidated Emma’s sexuality, all because you were feeling uncomfortable and worried and you lashed out at the one person who you shouldn’t have. Emma cares about you, anyone with fucking eyes can see that. And I know you care about her too or else you wouldn’t be this torn up over what’s-his-fuck. She told you how she felt. She told you that you could trust her. And then you threw it back in her face and you really hurt her.” He looks around my room, collecting his thoughts before he says, “You know that I am Team Sage, but I’m Team Emma on this one. You fucked up, Sagey. You need to fucking fix it.”
“Sage.” Peyton says, her head landing softly on my shoulder as she snuggles in closer. “I understand where you’re coming from. Why you feel so upset and why you lashed out. I get it, okay? But I have never seen two people look at each other the way you two do. I honestly get jealous whenever I see you guys together. You have this special connection that people would kill for. And I think that if you let her go, you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life.”
“That was very wise, Peyton.” I say softly.
She hums. “If you guys would listen to me from time to time you’d already know that I always know what I’m talking about.” She pulls my arm into a tiny hug and continues. “If you want Emma back, if you don’t want to actually be broken up, you need to apologize. And you need togrovel.”
“Oh yes, you definitely need to grovel.” River agrees.
I sigh. “I do want her back.” My words are soft, whispered almost. Like if I say them too loudly it will make it impossible. “I want her more than anything, but after what I said and how I acted.” I shrug helplessly. “I don’t think she’s going to forgive me. I was cruel, guys. I—” I choke on a stilted sob. “I was so mean to her. Fuck.” My hands tug at my hair. “It’ll be a miracle if she forgives me.”
“I don’t know, Sage. She didn’t seem like she was going to give you up that easily.” River says softly. “But you know what? There’s only one way to find out. You need to tell her you’re sorry and fucking mean it.”
