Page 54 of The Love Potion
“Please, in private, call me Ras. All my friends do.”
Even in the shadows of the tack room, he could see the pink of her cheeks. Or perhaps he felt the heat of her increase. The moist feel of her breath against his hand. And…
“I have promised to find you a husband,” he rushed to say. It was an attempt to divert the direction of his thoughts. Sadly, it didn’t work. He pulled his hand away from her mouth and yet the feel of her was burned into his consciousness. “But that is vastly more difficult now.”
She nodded. “Any place for me in London is now gone. No one who has even the slightest association with polite society will have me.” Her head lifted as she no doubt fought tears. “Myaunt has offered to write me a reference, but only if I go to Spain or Russia.”
“Spain or—” he choked off his word. “Do you have relations there?”
“No one. Nor do I speak the languages.”
The cruelty of some people. “You’d be better off in a workhouse.” Then at her wince, he quickly touched her arm. “You shall not be doomed to that. I swear it.”
She flashed him a brave smile. “There is another option for me. One that I had hoped you would help me with.”
“Anything.”
“Understand that I have seen what happens to impoverished girls. If my aunt and uncle had not taken me in, I would have ended up on this path. I would rather have some control over it than…” She visibly shuddered. “I would like to choose.”
He nodded, not understanding the direction of her thoughts.
“I know of no school who will take me as a teacher, nor a family who will have me as governess or companion. Not now that I have been so publicly reviled.”
“Not everyone reads the paper.” Just everyone in London and much of the outlying counties.
“Every respectable family does,” she returned. “So my only options are an odious marriage to a man who—”
“No. You cannot marry someone vile. That’s a fate worse than death.” They both knew that any man who would have her with a tarnished reputation wanted her for the most despicable reasons. “You do not know what those men want.”
“I do know, at least in part. I helped give comfort to some of my father’s parishioners. I was sheltered, Your Grace, not blind.”
She had a point. “So what is it that I can—”
“If I must sell myself,” she pressed on, her words quick as she interrupted him. “I should like to choose my buyer. And get the best price I can for it.” She took a shuddering breath, but it didnot stop her from finishing her thought. “I need you to help me with that.”
His breath froze in his lungs. His thoughts whited out as he stared at her. She wanted him to… She planned to…
“You know everyone, Your Grace, or at least more people than I do. You know who would be my best option and…” Finally, she faltered, her gaze dropping to the floor as she spoke.
“To be clear,” he said, his voice icy cold. “You are asking me to find you a protector.” He nearly choked on the word. “Not a husband.”
Her gaze raised to his. “Do you know of a husband who would take me?”
Not a good one. Not one who was worthy of her. And he had spent a great deal of time thinking about it. Thinking and rejecting every man who crossed his mind.
Protectors were an even worse lot.
“Do you even know what it is like? Do you know what to do?” He had already kissed her. He knew exactly how inexperienced she was. “You are not cut out for that kind of life!”
He watched her jaw firm and her eyes turn cold. “You know nothing of what a woman will do when she has no other option.”
He took a step forward. “You will be at the beck and call of any man with coin.”
She swallowed.
“Whatever he wants, whenever he wants.”
“That is no different than a husband.”
