Page 100 of Eluvonia
“Kaida, stop!” I cry, my voice hoarse and cracked. “Turn around! We can’t leave him! Please, Kaida, please!”
But Kaida doesn’t respond. His jaw is tight, his body rigid with effort as he forces himself to keep going.
I twist again, my tear-streaked face locking onto the spot where Declan fell. The rippling waves are all that’s left of him, the golden beacon that had once been so bright now extinguished.
“Declan!”I scream again, the word ripped from my chest with so much force it feels like I might break apart. My body shakes uncontrollably, my sobs wracking my frame as the place where he disappeared grows smaller and smaller until it’s just a speck on the horizon.
“NO!” The sound is raw, primal, an unrelenting echo of my grief. My fists slam weakly against Kaida’s scales as tears blur my vision.
The loss hollows me out, a gaping wound that nothing will ever fill. My heart feels like it’s being ripped apart, the agony so complete I can barely breathe.
The sea stretches endlessly beneath us, the shimmering waves taunting me with their silence. All I can do is stare, my screams fading into broken sobs as Kaida carries me further and further away.
Chapter 42
AERIS
The wind rushes past us, tugging at my hair as we soar in silence over the endless expanse of the sea. The rhythmic beat of Kaida’s wings echoes in the stillness, but my mind barely registers it. The world feels muted, its edges dulled by the weight crushing my chest. The roar of the waves below is a faint murmur in my ears, drowned out by the haunting replay of Declan’s final roar. The moment he disappeared beneath the waves is seared into my mind, an image I can’t escape. My fingers clutch at Kaida’s scales, but my grip is weak, as if my body has forgotten how to hold on.
By the time the cliffs rise in the distance, their jagged edges framed by the moonlight, my mind is still adrift. Kaida lands with a grunt, the impact reverberating through his massive frame as he folds his wings. I slide off his back, my legs trembling beneath me. The grass is soft underfoot, and the ground feels foreign, like I don’t belong here—not without him.
Kaida shifts behind me, the sound of cracking bones and stretching muscles marking his return to human form. I don’t turn around. I slip his clothes out of my satchel and toss it toward him without a word. The silence between us stretches, thick and oppressive. My feet carry me to the edge of the cliff, where the sea stretches out endlessly below. I stare at the waves, the ethereal glow from the full moon reflecting off the surface. I search, desperate, hoping for a glimmer of gold in the distance. But there’s nothing. No glow. No massive, familiar form breaking through the horizon.
Just the waves, unyielding and indifferent.
Tears slide down my face, hot and relentless, as the truth sinks deeper into my bones.Declan is gone. My chest heaves with shallow breaths, my throat tightening until it feels like I can’t breathe. I’m drowning, not in the sea but in the unbearable emptiness he left behind.
Footsteps crunch softly behind me, and I know it’s Kaida. His presence, usually steadying, sparks something volatile within me. My sorrow twists, turning into something hot and demanding, something I can’t contain.
I whirl around, my fists clenched at my sides. “We shouldn’t have left him!” The words burst out of me, sharp and raw. My voice cracks, but I don’t care. I storm toward Kaida, my feet pounding against the ground as tears blur my vision. “Why did you turn away? We could have helped him! We could have saved him!”
My fists connect with his chest, weak and trembling, but I strike again and again, each hit a futile attempt to fight the unbearable reality pressing down on me. Tears spill over, running down my face in hot rivers.
“Why, Kai?” My voice breaks on a sob as my strength falters.My hands drop to my sides, trembling. “Why did you turn away? Why did you leave him?” The words come out in fragments, choked by the sobs racking my body. I bury my face against his chest, my fingers clutching at his tunic like it’s the only thing keeping me grounded.
Kaida doesn’t stop me. He doesn’t move to block my fists or push me away. He stands there, silent, letting me pour out every ounce of my grief and rage against him. But his silence only fuels the storm inside me.
A thought strikes me, sharp and devastating. I pull back just enough to meet his gaze, my eyes wide and frantic. “We did this,” I whisper, the words trembling on my lips. “We did this!” My voice rises into a scream, my hands shaking as I press them against his chest. “We chose him to be sacrificed! This is our cost for meeting with the Ymiral, this is our fault!”
Kaida’s hands come up, gripping my arms firmly but not unkindly. His blue eyes meet mine, shining with unshed tears. “You can’t know that, Aeris,” he says softly, his voice steady but laced with pain.
I shake my head violently, my hair whipping around my face. “I do know! We did this! I did this!” My voice cracks as I sob out the words. “His death is my fault!”
Kaida pulls me against him, his arms wrapping around me tightly as my body trembles with uncontrollable sobs. His chin rests gently on top of my head, and he murmurs, “It’s not your fault, Aeris. It’s not your fault.”
The air is thick with the salt of the sea, and I bury my face in Kaida’s chest, my fingers gripping his tunic like it’s the only thing keeping me from shattering completely. The fabric grows damp with my tears, but Kaida doesn’t let go. He holds me, steady and unyielding, as the world around us drowns indarkness.
The sky is an endless expanse of ink, speckled with the cold light of distant stars. The ocean below stretches out like a vast, black abyss, its surface reflecting nothing but the moonlight—a pale, ghostly glow that doesn’t comfort me.
After what feels like an eternity, I feel Kaida move, his head lifting to look toward the rising moon. I turn my head to follow his gaze, my cheek still pressed against his chest. The horizon is shrouded in shadows, the pale light of the moon barely enough to reveal the endless stretch of the sea. It should be beautiful, but all I feel is the weight of our loss.
“How can we do this without him?” I ask, my voice barely a whisper, as though speaking the question aloud might make it even more real. The words hang in the air, heavy and unanswered, suffocating in the silence.
Kaida stays quiet for a moment, his chest rising and falling beneath me, each breath steady and deep, but filled with a quiet kind of pain. Finally, he speaks, his voice low but resolute. “Day by day,” he says. “He wanted us to save Eluvonia, Aeris. That’s what we’ll do. We’ll go through the portal to Vryngard. We’ll find Julien. We’ll stop this war so no more blood will be shed. No more lives lost.”
I sniff, the sound sharp in the stillness. I nod against his chest, the motion small, hesitant, but there. Kaida pulls back just enough to look down at me, his hands gently wiping the tears from my cheeks. His touch is warm, grounding in the dark, his presence the only thing that makes sense in this chaotic world.
“I know it’s hard,” he says softly. “But we’ll live each day for him. We’ll smile for him… love for him.” His voice catches on the last words, the quiet tremble betraying the weight of everything we’ve lost. I see the shimmer of tears in his eyes, and for a moment, I’m reminded that he, too, carries the same burden.
