Page 197 of As They Are
“Violet,” Charlie said with a sigh. “Really? We talked about keeping that to ourselves.”
“Hey, I’m just letting her know what she’s getting into.”
“It’s fine,” I said. “What’s a little parental-abandonment talk between strangers? I get where you’re coming from. You want to be better.”
“I do,” he said. “And I feel like Ihaveto do this.”
“Even if he doesn’t want to,” Violet added.
“You know, you would be doing a lot better than a lot of parents if you’re justthere,”I said. “You don’t have anything to prove other than that.”
“I’ll be here every step of the way,” Charlie said. “I know that, I just—we saved up for this. Wecando it. We can give them a house they’ll love.”
“But willyoulove it?” I asked. “Because if not, if you’ll miss this, then it’s not worth it.”
“Wow,” Violet said. “You’re taking the words right out of my mouth.”
“When I was staying with my best friend and”—I paused, thinking of Henry—“someone else, it made me rethink what I feel like a home is. It’s the people, not the aesthetics.”
“See?” Violet said. “Now you have even more people on your side.”
Charlie’s shoulders slumped. “It must be obvious if even professionals see it that way. Even if we don’t update the wood, it still needs work.”
I eyed the house. “Yeah, I could see that. The wiring is old. Radiant heat could be swapped for a central system, but we don’t have to touch anything cosmetically.”
“Isn’t that your favorite part, though?” Violet asked.
“I like fixing things,” I confirmed. “I think it needs love. And I’ll go out on a limb and say it has that.”
“She’s good,” Violet said to Charlie. “And I can?—”
“You’re not working on wiring,” he interrupted. “That one’s too risky for you. Anything else, sure, but not that.”
“You work on the house?” I asked.
“I used to live in awful apartments, so I did the work myself. And now I do it here. Though, some things are above my pay grade.” She eyed me. “And maybe below yours? You’resobusy.”
I needed to be, but what they needed mattered more. “I work with some people who can get the work done. I can do a lot, but I’m not certified to rewire a whole house. I do know a guy who does great work.”
After I’d given them the phone numbers they needed, I went back to my apartment. I’d done the right thing, and I knew I had. But now I had nothing to fix.
And I needed to find something.
Usually, my motivation was always there, but this time, I was scraping the bottom of the barrel. I didn’t want to fix things. I wanted to be in ahome.Something that felt like what Violet and Charlie had.
All my life, I’d made homes for other people, but I never had a home of my own that felt likemine.The trailer I grew up in, the nice house I wish Mom had accepted me in, and the apartment I’d decorated myself—they were just places to sleep.
Home was with Henry. With Mollie. With Tammy.
And I’d left it behind.
When I shut the door to my apartment, all the emotions I was trying to run from hit me. I missed it. So much more than I could ever say. It was so easy for people to leave me, but it was much harder for me to leave them.
Did that make me weak?
Or should I have taken advantage of every second I could in Strawberry Springs?
It didn’t matter. Henry would have been through his day by now. I bet he’d realized how far he’d pushed himself the day before. He was probably recovering and barely thinking about me. Mollie had to be excited about her scan and all that came with a new baby. And Tammy had Kelsey.
