Page 23 of Fractured Loyalties
Or maybe I’m still coming down from the shock of someone actually standing up for me in front of Blair and her deranged followers.
I don’t know, but regardless of the answer, I actually feel as if the rest of the year might be survivable. It’s amazing what one simple change—such as having a fucking friend—can do.
I open my bedroom door and scan the room, noting there’s fresh bedding replacing the old, and my nightshirt is gone, along with the rest of the linen. It’s strange to have maid service in your house, but… It’s not the worst thing, I guess.
Better than having to think about what I rolled around in last night.
“Gross,” I mumble, tossing my bag onto the comforter.
Somewhere in the house, the sound of a door slamming echoes. In my head, I assume it must be Roman. No matter how calm and uncaring he likes to appear…
I think deep down, he’s the type who always wants to make a show.
At least he didn’t yell at me or come to torment me today. Maybe he’s sulking about the fight he got into, or maybe he’s just mad I didn’t crumple into a ball the second I crossed the threshold.
Either way, it doesn’t matter. I refuse to let him rent space in my head. Not tonight. Tonight, my life actually doesn’t totally suck.
I pull open the dresser and start rummaging for something comfortable. Everything in here is either brand new, absurdly expensive, or both. There are still tags on half the stuff. I end up settling for an oversized, soft hoodie and leggings. Comfort over couture, every time.
Tucking them under my arm, I pull my phone out of my pocket to seeanothertext from Kade.
Kade: The big party at the Woods’ Estate is this weekend. I assume you’ll be there? I will. :)
I furrow my brow. I have no idea if I’ll be there or not… But probably? I mean, Idolive here. It would only make sense…
I don’t answer him because I’m not sure. For all I know, my mother may lock me away in my room for the duration of the party. I might embarrass her.
I head for the bathroom, leaving my phone on the bed. I turn on the water, twist the handle all the way to the right, and wait for the steam to start creeping up the mirror. The tiles are cold against my feet, but the air is already thick with heat. I slide out of my clothes and pile them in the corner of the bathroom.
For a second, I just stand there and let the steam wrap around me. My skin prickles, and I watch the mirror blur, myown shape dissolving into nothing. It feels symbolic. The day, or maybe the last few months, are finally melting off me.
That would be a freaking miracle.
I step into the shower and let the hot water scald me. The pressure is perfect. It hammers at my shoulders, pounds into my scalp, and roars in my ears until there’s nothing left but sound and sensation. I tilt my head back and let the water run down my face, over my neck, and down my chest. My muscles unclench, little by little, until I feel almost boneless.
This is the first time, since I moved here, that I don’t feel as if I’m drowning. The thought makes me want to laugh again, or maybe cry, or both. But instead, I just stand there, letting the heat and the water rinse away every trace of the day.
I’m okay. I’ll be okay.
I want to stay under the water forever, but eventually my fingers go wrinkly and the heat starts to make me feel dizzy. I turn off the shower and step onto the thick mat, wrapping myself in the towel and scrubbing my skin dry.
I stand there afterward for a second, looking at myself in the foggy mirror. My eyes are brighter than usual, and the skin around them is less puffy. I feel taller, somehow, and lighter. Not pretty, exactly, but less as if I’m about to be sucked into the floorboards.
I pull on the hoodie, letting it swallow me up, and slide into my leggings. The towel goes back on the hook, and then I brush and braid my wet hair.
When I go back into my room, I go to my backpack, knowing I have homework to get done. My phone is still there, untouched and open to the text thread Kade started.
I should reply.
The last thing I want to do is lose the friendship because Kade thinks I’m a shitty texter or something. I start typing, delete it, and then start again. Finally, I send it.
Me: Is it, like, an open thing? Or do you have to be invited? No one has said anything to me about it.
He replies instantly. Literally within seconds.
Kade: You’re Woods' family now. You’re supposed to be there. Also, everyone else is afraid of your brother, so I’d be an idiot to say no if you want to hang out at it.
A laugh bursts out of me, and it sounds weird and loud in the empty room. I glance over my shoulder, half expecting Roman to materialize out of the wall and sneer at me. But he’s not there. No one’s there. It’s just me and the message, and the little burst of joy it brings.
