Page 36 of Worth Every Moment
I pull my phone out, open up my chat with Seb, and pass it to her. She scrolls, a slight smile ghosting her mouth. “Aw, this is cute. His love language is GIFs.” She scrolls more. “He sends them almost every day, even when you don’t reply.”
I love getting messages from Seb. Every time my phone buzzes, my heart leaps like the damn handset is a defibrillator pad as I wonder if it’s from him. I try to sound casual when I say, “He doesn’t send them to you?”
“Nope.” She hands me back my phone, and I put it away. “I’m not that special. Whereas you—”
“Stop it. You cannot categorically know how he feels about me. He’d sleep with anyone. He brought a date with himthat night, at the gallery. He’salwayswith someone else. If I hooked upwith him, it wouldn’t mean anything to him, and he’d move on to the next woman in five seconds flat. I doubt he’d even glance over his shoulder to check I was okay. Onto the next hotel room. The next naked woman who sends a picture to his phone.” Amy arches a brow and I explain about the photos he received the day I fell on the runway. “I don’t think he knows how to have a sexual relationship thatactuallymeans something,” I continue. “And I’m not willing to risk everything to find out. I can’t do that. Iwon’tdo that. I mean… myvirginity.”My heart.“That’s a big deal.”
Amy props one hand on her hip, staring like she’s trying to unearth the truth I’m not sharing. My heart does a funny palpitation, and I press a hand over it. Her eyes dart to my hand, her brow creasing. “You’re frightened.”
No shit. I flop down on the bench by the wall and start shoving the pads into my bag. “Yeah. I don’t want to be tossed aside when he gets bored. I’d lose my friend and gain nothing but heartache.” Amy rests a hand on my shoulder, which I shrug off as I zip up my bag and sit up. “And I don’t want to lose his friendship, if I haven’t already.Andmy mother hates him.”
“So what? Who cares what your mum thinks?” Amy’s question sounds casual, as though Mum’s opinion should be irrelevant. And I guess it should be, but it’s not. Amy wouldn’t really understand that… her parents are the ultimate support team to her career. Not overbearing, but supportive. Whereas my mother is involved in every facet of my life, and I have no idea how to unravel that shit. “Has she ever met Seb?”
“I don’t think they’ve ever spoken. She has no interest in talking to him.”
“Your Mum is weird as fuck. Who’s not interested in Seb Hawkston?”
I raise a shoulder. “Bad for the brand.”
“Ah. You don’t really believe that, do you?”
Do I? I know Mum does, and I’ve absorbed so many of her opinions over the years that sometimes it’s hard to tell what’s hers and what’s mine.
The memory of Seb telling me he’d bend me over and fuck the brat out of me if I mentioned my brand again causes a searing heat to ignite in my chest. It feels like arousal and heartbreak all at once.
Our friendship is definitely fucked beyond repair, whatever Amy thinks about the matter.
“Just rebrand,” Amy offers. “I do it all the time. Seb could totally be part of your rebranding.”
I sigh.I wish. I can’t keep talking about Seb because I might start crying, so I redirect the conversation. “Speaking of rebranding, I want to move into movies and I’ve got this huge audition coming up… I haven’t told anyone, but it’s forTaming the Beast.”
Amy’s eyes widen, and her mouth puckers into a tiny O shape. “The film based on that post-apocalyptic Beauty and the Beast story?”
“Yes. They’re filming most of it in the UK with a British cast.”
Amy squeals. “Really? Because I’m reading it right now. It’s in my bag.” She whistles. “That’s the biggest book in the market at the moment. It’sfilthy.”
I wipe the sweat off my forehead with my forearm. “It’s a romance.”
Amy lets out a wicked cackle. “It’s page-porn. SurvivalistFifty Shades. Fifty-shades-of-fuck-me-up-the-arse meetsThe Hunger Games.”
“The Hunger Games is dystopian. Not post-apocalyptic.”
Amy waves her hand at me like she doesn’t give a fuck about the difference between the two. “Don’t get me wrong. I loved it. Millions of people loved it. But some of the things he does toher…” She fades off, a smile on her face as she shakes her head. “I had to take a rest break. Several times.” She winks.
“I wouldn’t know.”
Amy swallows another gulp of water from her bottle and wipes her mouth on the back of her hand before she speaks. “Woah. Hold up. You want to audition, but you haven’t read the book? You have to go read it right away.” She moves quickly towards her bag and pulls out the book, thrusting it towards me. “Read it. Get inside the character’s head. Get yourself a hand mirror and have a wank.”
I rear back. “Jesus, Amy. A wank? A mirror?”
“Yeah,” she deadpans. “Just pop it between your legs so you can see yourself when you masturbate. I promise you, this shit works. It’ll loosen up your sexual energy in no time. You’ll start loving your pussy as much as the world loves your face.”
“You are so crass.” I snatch the book from her, then reconsider, pinning the book between finger and thumb and holding it away from me. “Did you wank over this book?”
She shrugs, amusement sparking in her eyes at my obvious discomfort. “Yeah, but I washed my hands.”
“Ew.” I push it back at her.
