Page 61 of Worth Every Moment
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve never had a proper girlfriend and suddenly you’re dating your best friend?”
I bristle. “You had a wife and now you’re engaged to your nanny. What’s the actual question?”
Matt grunts and shifts in the chair. “I’m just saying, you’re the guy who never takes a woman to his house. One night stands in the hotel. Keep it casual, make it meaningless. It’s practically a mantra you live by.”
I hold in the groan that wants to spill from my mouth. My past behaviour has done me no favours here. I wish I could wipe it all away, especially if it means my brothers would take this relationship between me and Erica seriously.I’m truly a lost cause if the first relationship I need them to take seriously isn’t even real.
“And she’s never shown an interest in you before either. You know… romantically,” Matt continues. “It makes me wonder what changed.”
Nico paces to the window, hands in his pockets. “What he means is, why now? Why would Erica Lefroy decide you’re good enough now?”
We’re all quiet a touch too long. Every muscle in my body strains with tension. “I really don’t like what you’re implying,” I say, finally.
“I’m not implying anything,” Nico says. “I’m just interpreting Matt’s inability to ask a direct question.”
“Fuck’s sake,” Matt mutters, staring at me. “Don’t be an idiot about this. I get whyyou’ddo it. You’ve worshipped that woman forever—”
“Have not—”
“Stop,” Nico cuts in. “Matt’s about to use multiple words in a row. Don’t disturb him. It might never happen again.”
A smile threatens to break across my face even though I’m already pissed off at the direction this conversation is taking.
Matt scowls in Nico’s direction, then focuses back on me. “Are you really dating her?”
There is no fucking way I am telling them this is fake.No way. “Yes.”
Matt weighs this up. “It seems to have come out of nowhere. She’s never spent time with you in public and suddenly you’re the guy in the perfume campaign? I mean… no disrespect, but what the actual fuck?”
“We’ve spent loads of time together,” I counter, but it sounds weak, even to my ear.
Matt lets out a sigh that softens his shoulders. “You’ve spent time together at home, on the sofa. Watching movies. But not out in public.”
“We’ve been at plenty of parties together.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t arrive or leave together, did you?”
A chill rolls over my skin. I’ve always known how Erica liked to do things, micromanaging our friendship to suit herself. And I was really, truly, okay with it. I’d give her anything she wanted and do whatever she wanted. If it weren’t for the way Matt is questioning me on it, I wouldn’t give it a second thought. “She’s Erica. She likes to do things on her terms.”
“Exactly,” Matt quips. “Why do you think she always asked Nico when she needed a public date? Why didn’t she ask you?”
I mentally run over the past events she attended with Nico before he was officially with Kate. Charity galas, fashion show after parties. The whole fucking lot. He was always the one on her arm, not me. In the past, I chalked it up to Nico being boring and responsible, and Erica assuming I wouldn’t enjoy the events. But now, with Matt staring at me like he feels sorryfor me, I realise I’ve been deep in denial, and a truth that has hovered at the edges of my consciousness is suddenly flashing before me in fucking Technicolor. Erica chose Nico because she didn’t wantme. Her words from the gallery batter through my mind on repeat like an endless round of gunfire.
You’re a joke.
Manwhore.
A wave of pain crashes through me, bringing with it the thought that, even if I do everything for her, there’s still a possibility that she’ll never think I’m good enough. Not for anythingreal, at any rate.
“Because Nico’s a boring old sod who likes those kinds of parties,” I say, but even I can hear the defensiveness in my tone.
“Thanks for that,” Nico says on a laugh.
Matt presses his lips together and nods, as though my comment proves him correct, even though he still hasn’t fucking said exactly what he thinks.
“Hold on, what exactly are you implying?” I ask him.
