Page 14 of Worth Every Moment
“You wouldn’t be giving them all up. You’d be choosing the one you want the most. The one you love.”
The silence feels potent, and she looks away as though I’ve just stripped naked in the middle of the hallway and she doesn’t want to see. I wish I knew what she was thinking.Sometimes it feels like she’s trying to tell me something. Other times, I’m convinced I’m delusional. “Pfft. Sure,” I say to dismiss the sentiment that’s clogging my airways.
She grips the doorframe with one hand and hops into the flat, and I edge under her arm so she can lean on me again.
She winces. “Thanks.”
I kick the door closed behind us and walk her over to the sofa, lowering her gently so she can sit, and then I pull over a stool so she can prop up her sore ankle. “Can I get you anything?”
“No.” She takes off her baseball cap, and all that long, dark hair falls out. She shakes it like a mane, releasing a wave of scent, and then scoops it all up and ties it back. My body tingles watching her do it, but Erica is oblivious as she pats the sofa next to her. “Just sit with me.”
I flop down, all too ready to relax, even though I’m still wearing a full suit. I undo my tie and top button, take off my jacket, and sling it over the back of the sofa before I kick my feet up on the stool next to hers. I pull my tie free from my collar and toss it nearby.Casual. I hope she can’t tell I’m not nearly as relaxed as I’m pretending to be. I love hanging out with Erica, but there’s an edge to it. A simmering energeticfrisson. Maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m broken. Maybe I really can’t just be friends with women. But friendship is all I’m getting from Erica, so I’ll damn well try and do it.
I grab the remote from where it’s next to me on the sofa and point it at the huge TV, but before I turn it on, I say, “Have you heard back about that movie you auditioned for? Are we gonna be sitting here watching you on screen someday soon?”
She looks down at her hands, wringing them in her lap. “I didn’t get that one.”
I place one hand over the anxious movement of hers, and she looks up at me. “You really wanted it, huh?”
She pins her bottom lip with her teeth and looks down at where my hand rests on hers. “There’s a role I want even more.”
“Oh, yeah?”
She nods. “You know thatTaming the Beastbook?”
I only know it vaguely. A big bestseller, apparently. “Yeah?”
“The role of Vanessa. I think I might be in with a chance because they’ve been fan-casting me for it on social media for ages. The auditions are coming up soon, and Ireallywant it.”
There’s a depth to her answer, and it feels heavy with emotion I’m not ready to pick up. I thread my fingers between hers, not missing the tiny catch in her breathing as she watches me do it.Fuck it.Now I’m sitting here, stuck to her side, my fingers tangled up with hers, having to pretend I didn’t just notice the way her chest shifted when she did that tiny gasp. But I can’t ignore it because the one little intake of breath set my whole body aflame and I am roaring with heat. I let go of her hand like she burnt it. Her brows flex, but she makes no comment.
Is there something going on here, or am I stuck in some awful delusional limbo-land where I’m so desperate for a sign that she might like me too that I’m making stuff up? Yeah. That must be it.Fuck’s sake, Seb. Keep your head screwed on.
My dick gives a tiny throb.
Not that head.
I nudge Erica with my elbow. That seemssaferthan actually holding her hand. I keep my voice light when I say, “Then you’llget it. When has Erica Lefroy not got exactly what she wants?” She smiles and, as though to prove I really am super casual and can handle anything she might throw at me, I add, “Just promise you’ll take me up the red carpet if you don’t have a real date.”
Her big eyes flick up to mine beneath the heavily made-up lids and long, black lashes, and there’s a seriousness there that I glimpse for a second before her lips tug up at the corner. “I’ll put you on the waitlist,” she teases.
I chuckle and before I think it through, the words pop out like a reflex. “Treat them mean, eh?” She flinches and I imagine she’s doing exactly what I’m doing: filling in the rest of the catchphrase.Keep them keen.
I swallow, awkwardagainon account of the way her expression shifted.Is it just me, or is there extra tension today?I point the remote at the TV again with my other hand. “What are we watching?”
“I don’t mind. You choose.” Erica nuzzles into me, resting her head on my shoulder, and I can hardly breathe.She is my friend. Friend. Friend.
But beingfriends with someone is not supposed to be this damn hard, is it? If she were anyone else, this would be nothing. Fuck, anyone else could get naked and ride me all night, and I’d barely bat an eyelid. But Erica Lefroy, sitting next to me on the sofa and resting her head on my shoulder, confuses the fuck out of me.
I pretend to give the choice serious consideration before I announce, “Porn, it is.”
She slaps me gently, and her head shifts against my shoulder as she laughs. “Incorrigible. That’s what they’ll write on your gravestone. Here lies the Incorrigible Sebastian Hawkston.”
“Tomb. My tomb. We have a Hawkston family tomb.” Erica snorts and I correct, “Actually, it’s more like a mausoleum.”
She slides the remote out of my hand. “Your family is ridiculous,” she says, as she clicks the TV on.
We settle on a movie, and I try my best to focus on the screen, not the woman next to me, despite the fact I’m half hard because she’s so close to me.
