Page 138 of Worth Every Moment
Seb rakes a hand through his hair. “He wanted to convince Diana’s father to let him build a hotel on his land, and the engagement between Diana and me was part of the deal. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think you’d ever want to be with me in a way that wasn’t fake or for show, and I justified it to myself by thinking that our arrangement would be over before the news about Diana came out. I could help you with your career for three months, and then we’d go our separate ways and I would do what my father needed me to do. But as soon as we slept together, I knew for sure that this thing between us wasn’t all pretend, and that I couldn’t go through with the marriage.
“When you told me Dad was on the island, I went to him and told him that I wasn’t marrying Diana because I wanted to be with you. That I was choosing you. That he could do whatever he wanted and I would fight him on it. But then, the night of the wedding, he threatened your career instead. Your role in the movie. Your future in Hollywood. He has contacts that would have shut you out of all the major production houses. You would have lost the role inTaming the Beast.”
I give a pitiful laugh that morphs into a sob. “God, Seb. You can be so stupid sometimes.” He frowns, and I continue, “If you’d told me what was going on, I would have given it all up. In a heartbeat, I would have given the whole thing up. I would have chosen you.”
He holds my gaze a beat too long before he speaks. “I could never have lived with myself for making you choose. I know how much you wanted it. How much you needed it.”
“Did you think about how much I needed you?”
Silence descends like midnight frost. His jaw hardens, eyes closing for a fraction of a second, but it’s enough to let me know he never considered that factor. Never thought that I might value him more than my career.
“I wanted you to have everything you’d ever dreamed of,” he says, voice soft but a little broken.
I dreamed of you.
“So you took my choice away?” Sobs weave through my words, rendering them unsteady. “Do you know what gives us power? Freedom? It’s the ability to make our own choices. You should have letmechoose. That’s what I was really fighting for.”
“I didn’t mean to do that. I was hardly thinking when it happened, and then you left before I’d found out that there was a way to undo it all. But he can’t touch us now.”
“What do you mean? What did you do?”
“We exposed him. Diana’s father records every interaction in his restaurants, especially if there are people of note dining there. Totally illegal, but I couldn’t be more thankful because there was footage of everything my father did and said to me the day he threatened me. Diana sourced it and we showed all of it just now, in the ballroom, to the investors and board members who were there to hear about the new hotel. Everyone knows what he did to me and what he was planning to do to you, and that the engagement with Diana was coerced. Everyone knows it’s you I wanted.”
My chin quivers, and I press my fingertips to my mouth to contain yet more sobs that want to spill.
Seb steps towards me, taking both my hands in his before I can stop him. “I’ve missed you, Lefroy.Fuck, I’ve missed you. Knowing I couldn’t touch you or hold you, or kiss you…”
His voice fades, and the pain in his eyes is almost more than I can take. The lump in my throat is so big, it’s almost choking me. Tears seep from my eyes and shaky breaths slip between my lips.
“Thinking that I might never do any of those things again felt like someone had stuck a knife right through my heart,” Seb continues. “Since we’ve been apart, I’ve dreamt of you every night, and in the mornings, for a second or two between waking and sleeping, I forgot that you were no longer mine, and life was perfect. I could roll over and find you there, lying next to me. But then reality crashed in and destroyed the illusion. You weren’t there, and it was like waking into a nightmare I couldn’t escape everyfuckingmorning. There isn’t a second that’s gone by that I haven’t longed for you. Pined for you. Ached for you.Jesus. Missing you is slowly killing me.” His voice is breaking. “I love you. I want to spend my life with you. And I am deeply, deeply sorry for everything that happened, and every way I hurt you. You didn’t deserve any of it, and I will spend every second of every day making it up to you. I’ll—”
“It was so painful,” I say, between sobs. “You publicly humiliated me. You—”
“I know. I’m sorry. God, I’m so fucking sorry.” He gets down on his knees next to me. “I’m begging you to forgive me for everything I put you through. If I could take all of it back, I would. You’re the only woman I ever want to be with, and to think I could spend my life with someone else is beyond crazy. I can’t. I couldn’t. I’m choosing you now, and I’ve been choosing you every fucking day for years. It might not have looked like it from the outside, but in here”—he thumps his chest—“I chose you every single moment. I didn’t know how to tell you because I didn’t think you’d want me. Not like that. And then you did want me, andfuck, that made me so happy… and regardless of what you choose today, I will continue to choose you until the day I die.”
I wipe away my tears with the heel of my hand, but they keep coming. My throat aches and my nose stings.
“I love you,” he murmurs. “And you don’t have to do this fucking PR shit anymore with men like Michael Drayton, because I am here, telling you that I love you. I fucking love you. I love the way you smile, I love the sound of your laugh and the taste of your mouth. I love your focus, your ambition, and your drive. I love how you never give up. I love everything about you, and I always have. I loved being your friend. Every second in your presence was precious, and if I had believed it was possible for us to be together without you losing your career, I would never have given it up. Not for a moment. If you don’t feel the same way, I’ll walk out that door.” He thrusts his arm back towards the exit. “And I won’t come back. I’ll let you choose. This has to be your choice. What do you want?”
My eyes close as I struggle to regain control, but my chin keeps quivering, and tears crest on my lower lids, rolling over and down my cheeks.
“What do you want, Lefroy?”
“You make it really fucking hard to hate you,” I croak out.
“Then don’t. Let me love you. I’ll give you everything. Anything. I meant it when I said you’re the other half of my soul, and I’m half a man without you. I don’t want to live my life without you in it. Tell me you don’t feel the same, and I’ll walk away if that’s what you want. But if there’s even the slightest hope that you feel something similar, let me show you that I’m worthy of you and your love, and I will move mountains to deserve it.”
I blink, pressing my fist to my lips.
“Do you still love me?” he asks, so gently that the words tear at my heart.
I lean forward in my chair, reaching out to touch his face, fingers stroking his cheek. “Of course I still love you. I’ll only ever love you.”
Relief washes over Seb’s face, and he tilts to meet me, sliding his hand around my neck, pulling me closer. Every cell in my body lights up.He’s here. I’m here.After all this time, I’m folding into his arms again, surrendering my body to his.
“You’re the one,” he whispers against my lips. “The only one. Nothing fake about it, Lefroy. There never was.”
Before I can tell him the same, he swallows the possibility of any words leaving my mouth, his lips meeting mine.
