Page 104 of Worth Every Moment
Marie cackles. “What?”
“My many book boyfriends,” Diana explains. “I have an entire shelf dedicated to men with piercings, and I spend time with each of them.”
Marie’s smile widens, her laughter barely restrained. “Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah.” Diana nods eagerly. “I thought about putting out an ad for someone who had piercings in real life, just so I could find out if it was really that much better. I never took Seb for one of them. Do you think he’d let us see it?”
Kate presses the back of her hand to her forehead, eyes fluttering shut as she murmurs, “Oh, sweet Jesus.”
Everyone stills, sharing awkward glances and studiously avoiding catching my eye.
A giggle spurts from Diana, wicked and childish all at once. “You should see the look on your faces. I’m kidding.” Her smile vanishes, and she puts her hands in a prayer position and holds them against her lips. “Not about the bookshelf thing. I really do have one dedicated to men with piercings.”
“Phew,” Marie quips as the other stifle awkward laughs. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a male stripper at a hen do, but I wasstarting to worry that you were going to beg Seb to do it. And I didn't sign up to be a bridesmaid at that kind of wedding.”
Kate makes a choking noise, and Aries snorts a giggle.
“I would never do that,” Diana says, pressing a hand to her heart. “What if you all went feral over it?” She glances at Kate. “I mean, once you’d seen it, you probably wouldn’t want Nico anymore. Move aside, man with no metal. I’ve found something better.” She shakes her head in a parody of disapproval. “I wouldn’t want you swapping brothers at the last minute.”
Kate’s jaw almost unhinges, and both Aries and Elly stand stock-still like they’ve been hit with a stun gun.
Marie’s expression contorts, landing somewhere between shock and amusement. “How do you know Nico has no metal? He could have a bionic dick down there.”
Kate drops her head into her palms and everyone laughs, including Diana who laughs the loudest and starts apologising profusely for her inappropriate jokes, and she and Marie appear to strike up an immediate friendship. The atmosphere is fun and lighthearted, as it should be before a wedding, but a strange pang hits my chest. Maybe it’s because this young woman can make casual banter about penises in a way I never could. Or maybe it’s because we’re still talking about Seb’s dick. And that dick, whether I’ve seen it or not, belongs to me.
The following day passes slowly, the girls mostly hungover and lying by the pool, despite the fact that the clouds are heavy overhead and the air is muggy. The storm never materialised last night, but it’s definitely coming now, and the boys are supposedto be sailing home in it. Anxiety stirs in my nervous system, and I try to distract myself by thinking about other things.
Diana hasn’t appeared today at all, and I can only assume she’s spending it with her father. But last night I pieced it together. She’s the girl Seb was looking at on his phone in the apartment that day, when he tried to make me eat a tomato. The book influencer who wears my shoes. A strange coincidence, and one that doesn’t sit well, but it’s probably nothing, so I put it out of mind.
Elly and Kate keep glancing at the sky with concern, and by late afternoon, it’s so dark that it feels like nighttime. The waves hit the beach with a distracting thump-thump, and the wind has picked up.
No one has voiced their worries, and as evening sets in for real, bottles of champagne are popped and they start getting drunk again. By 8 pm, we’re all seated around the outdoor table, the staff serving us platters of marinated chicken and potatoes.
But I can’t eat. My stomach is gnawing itself like an anxiety-ridden child biting a thumbnail. The guys haven’t arrived and the waves are ferocious. No sign of the boat. They all locked their mobile phones up, at least Seb said they were going to, so there would be no pictures taken, and they’d all be forced to forget about work and focus on the present moment. But if they were in trouble, wouldn’t they have unlocked the phones?
Unless the boat has capsized…
I don’t know how everyone isn’t panicking. Kate throws back another glass of champagne. But then her gaze floats out to sea and I know she’s concerned and numbing it.
I can’t sit here anymore. My sobriety is wearisome, and my palms are sweaty.What if something has happened?The sea, black and rough under a cloudy sky, is terrifying.
Thunder cracks overhead and the rain pours down, shredding the air with its streams. Elly, at the other end of the table,springs from her chair. “Where the fuck are they? They were supposed to be back by now.”
“Relax,” Marie says. “They’re probably harboured somewhere around the bay. I bet they’re all getting drunk in a bar right now.”
“They should have messaged,” Elly says urgently. “If they were okay, they would have messaged.”
Aries steps up to Elly, drawing her into a hug and whispering in her ear, which seems to calm her a little. Kate gets up from her seat, stumbling over chairs to get to them, and joins the embrace.
Across the table, Marie rolls her eyes at me as if I’m as emotionally detached as she is from the potential peril of the guys on the boat. “I bet they’re absolutely fine. They’re probably watching a stripper’s tits bounce like water balloons as we speak.”
I hope so.But I can’t sit here and weep with the others. They’ve been kind to me, but they aren’t my friends.I don’t have a group of friends here.I only have Seb.
He’d better be okay.
If he’s okay, I’ll murder him for not letting me know.
I get up, excusing myself and heading back to my cabin. But even after I take a shower and get ready for bed, I can’t sleep. I pace for what feels like hours, until my feet ache, at which point I finally clamber into bed with one of Seb’s t-shirts, which I cling to as though it’s the last remaining piece of him.The boat should have been back by now.
