Page 73 of Wings of Frost and Fury
“Maybe I deserve this,” she breathes. “I failed Katlee, all those years ago. If I’d been a better friend, maybe she wouldn’t have thought of herself as lacking something. I should have helped her understand that she didn’t have to be like everyone else, that she didn’t have to change. I should have held my ground.”
“You told me it was her choice,” I reply. “She considered her options and made a decision. She asked you to use your magic on her behalf.”
“Yes.”
“Then you are absolved.”
“There can be no absolution,” Thelise rasps. “She died, and it was my fault. I owe the universe a life.”
“And you have paid with three.” The words tear out of me, bloodied by the agony of my heart.
“What are you talking about?”
“Three times my seed has taken root inside you.” My sides heave with huge, ragged breaths. “Three times I have hoped that we might share offspring. Three times the ravages of the storm have caused havoc in your body and stolen those lives within hours of their conception.”
Thelise pushes herself up on a trembling arm. “You’re saying I was pregnant three times, and within a few hours those pregnancies ended?”
“Yes. I should not have told you. I promised myself I wouldn’t say anything—I didn’t want you to suffer additional pain.”
“Sweet dragon,” she says, with a wan smile. “I’m not sure those were actually lives yet. It was so early… they were so new…”
I stare at her, feeling two great, hot tears form at the corners of my eyes and roll down my muzzle.
“It doesn’t matter what I think,” she says softly. “They were real and important toyou. Their loss hurt you, and you have every right to feel as you do. Come here.”
I move to the nest and lie down beside her, careful not to let my claws, wings, or tail touch her frail body. When I settle my head next to hers, she falls back against the blankets, but she reaches up to stroke my nose.
“I love you,” she whispers. “You have the biggest heart in the world.”
All I can manage in response is a low rumble.
“You have to promise me something.” Her breath is slow, labored. “If I die, you won’t go back to alethia. You’ll find healthier ways to manage your pain. Maybe you’ll even—” she grimaces, as if the thought irritates her— “find another woman to love.” She wrinkles her nose, and I can’t help releasing a rough laugh.
“Not fucking likely,” I tell her. “You are my obsession, and I believe you always will be.”
“Then I suppose I’ll have to try to stay alive,” she says. “Even if I don’t feel worthy of surviving this,youare worthy of happiness.”
“So are you,” I tell her. “Mistakes do not make you unworthy of life, of peace, of pleasure. You have every right to a full and beautiful existence.”
She kisses my nose and sighs. “I wish this storm would end. I’ve prayed to it, you know. Begged it to stop. It’s vicious, Ash. It loves violence and pain. It feeds on trauma and fear. If I hadn’t let go with you that night and released some of the emotions I was holding back, I’d probably be dead already.”
“Fuck, don’t say that.” I caress her with my tongue, and she smiles a little, murmuring, “Sweet dragon.”
“Stop calling me sweet,” I growl. “Call me rude, call me a brute and a bastard, call me monster, terror, asshole,motherfucker, anything else. Stoke that fire within you. Don’t you dare let it go out.”
She narrows her eyes. “Go shit off a cliff.”
“That’s my girl.”
We lie there together, and when she falls asleep, I listen to her breathing like it’s the loveliest music. At one point it stops, and I nearly panic… but it begins again.
And then it stops. Pauses for so long that I whimper, and then she breathes, too shallowly.
She’s fucking dying.
I try to shift to human shape, but my change to dragon form is too recent, and I can’t focus.
Her breathing halts again.
