Page 60 of Wings of Frost and Fury
At the same time, I feel a little guilty for enjoying her company this much. Do I like hermorebecause she is undemanding, because she needs nothing from me? Is that selfish on my part?
I don’t want to parse it out. I don’t want to self-evaluate. So I drink a bit more, and we share more stories about the foolishness of men.
Ashvelon returns around noon with a few dragons and begins the work of transferring supplies to the other captives. Serylla and I stay busy making up the parcels, giggling whenever one of the dragons asks an awkward question about the items we’re preparing.
“We shouldn’t laugh at them,” Serylla whispers to me. “They’re trying.”
“I know, I know. But I’ve had far too much wine to answer their questions seriously. The dragon who asked if a comb is something humans use to cleave their food since they don’t have proper jaws? I had to laugh. Couldn’t help it.”
“You embarrassed him,” Serylla chides me, although she’s chuckling too.
“Fuck it.” I shrug. “They kidnapped you. They deserve a little embarrassment.”
All afternoon, Ashvelon ensures that I’m not left alone with any of the other dragons. He doesn’t leave the cave unless they depart first, and he’s never gone long. He’s like a gigantic guarddog with spikes and scales, determined to protect me from any vengeful or disgruntled members of his clan.
At last, near sundown, he returns for good, and shortly afterward, Kyreagan comes to fetch Serylla. Ashvelon rises when the Prince enters the cave, and they bow their heads briefly to each other. Apparently Ashvelon’s insubordinate behavior has been forgiven, if not forgotten.
Ashvelon watches Kyreagan carefully until the Prince is aloft with Serylla, headed out into the golden light of late afternoon. Only then does he seem to relax a little.
I enjoyed my time with Serylla, and I’m sorry to see her go. Thanks to her company, I was able to avoid thinking about the talk Ashvelon and I need to have.
I’m not looking forward to it. I don’t like long, painful, awkward conversations. Sometimes it’s more comfortable to have a nice, convenient misunderstanding and cut oneself off from the emotions involved.
The warmth of the wine I drank earlier has receded, leaving a question in my head like a sharp shell abandoned on a beach by the ebbing tide. I consider drinking more, but after what Ashvelon did for me today, I owe it to him to do this sober.
“We need to talk.” I grimace at the very words.
“Agreed.” He sits on his haunches, with his tail curled around his backside and both forepaws in front of him. It’s such a catlike position that I stifle a laugh.
“You’re mocking me?” His blue eyes glow menacingly bright.
“No, it’s just… never mind.” I press my hand to my forehead. “I’m not used to having serious conversations. I don’t like them. They’re not my favorite. I never know how to begin.”
“Then I’ll begin,” he rumbles. “I’m angry with you. You made my face look like a human you fucked. Did you do that with the rest of them? The other dragons?”
“No!”
“Just me, then?”
“That’s the face I thought of when I transformed you the first time. I don’t know why I did it, exactly—it seemed to fit you. I’ve known many handsome men, but Haljax stuck in my mind because he rejected me the next day. Maybe I thought it would help me see you as an enemy. Maybe I thought it would be easier…” I vent a frustrated sigh and walk away, kicking aside a clump of clothing on the floor.
“You wanted him. You cared about him.”
“I didnot. And the fact that I used his face has nothing to do with you.”
“Nothing to do with me?” He scoffs. “You gave me the same face again, last night. Permanently this time.”
“Only because I associate it withyounow, not with him. I couldn’t care less about some asshole innkeeper. What do I have to say to get that through your thick dragon skull?”
Ashvelon growls.
“Go ahead and growl,” I snap. “Maybe I’ll growl too. I deserve to growl, after the shit you pulled.”
“The fuck?” he hisses. “I fought for you. I lied to my prince for you.”
“And you agreed to the deal he proposed. You accepted me as your mate.”
“To save your life.”
