Page 60 of The Maleficent Faerie
“What do you mean?”
“Well, let’s start with your favorite food.”
“This is silly—”
“Humor me.”
I know the answer I’ve always given when asked such a question. “The spicy chowder Genla makes during the darkest days of winter. She says ‘a fire on the tongue can light a fire in the cheerless heart.’” My stomach twists. “I won’t ever eat that chowder again, will I? And if I did, I couldn’t enjoy it.”
Malec winces. “Let’s try something else—your favorite color.”
“The exact shade of blue that my hair used to be.”
“Oh. Fuck.” His frown deepens. “This isn’t working like I thought it would.”
His chagrin almost makes me smile. “It’s all right.”
“Someone asked me these questions, shortly after my mother’s death. I felt like less of a whole person without my parents, but I went through the process of reclaiming each bit of myself, and it helped. Every type of grief and pain is different, but I thought perhaps—” He runs a hand over his face. “I apologize if I made it worse.”
“It’s all right.” I reach up and touch his arm lightly, realizing with faint surprise that I don’t feel the slightest impulse to hurt him right now. “It was kind of you to try.”
Heiskind. Despite what he has done, the mistakes he has made, the fate he still intends for me... he is a compassionate man. I find myself hungering for kindness, starving for it. “Will you ride with me?”
His lips part, surprise crossing his features. “I’ve been flying so I can keep watch.”
“Don’t your wings tire? Perhaps Ember or Kyan could take the watch a while.”
“My wings rarely tire.”
“Of course.” I stiffen and drop my hand from his arm. “Forget I asked.”
He leans down, warmth flowing from his eyes into mine. “I will ride with you, little viper, if you will do one thing for me.”
“And what is that?”
“Eat your lunch.”
Malec rides behind me for the rest of the afternoon. His broad chest at my back, his breath in my hair, and the firm press of his thighs keeps me warmly aroused for hours—not unbearably so, but pleasantly. We talk of religion, his and mine—their differences and similarities. With everything else I believed thrown into question, I might as well question that too.
To my surprise, our philosophies align more closely than I thought—with the exception that his theology allows for fear, doubt, uncertainty, and sorrow—embraces them fully, without shaming those who feel such emotions. Compared to mine, his faith is at once gentler and more terrifyingly open to possibilities.
The first skeins of the Void began to writhe across the suns, dimming their light to a deep orange. There’s debate among Malec and his men—whether we should find shelter for the night or ride through it. Ravens have come and gone multiple times today, passing information into Malec’s mind, but there have been none for a few hours, and that fact seems to concern him.
“We will pause for a meal, for us and the horses,” he announces at last. “And then we will keep riding.”
We’ve been traveling across broad plains thatched with grain fields and pastures, dotted with the occasional cottage and barn. In this part of the countryside there’s nothing to break the monotony of the fields—tall golden-brown grass as far as the eye can see—except in the distance, where a few pointed smudges hint at the mountains where Ru Gallamet lies. There’s a blackness behind those smudges—a deeper dark that I’ve seen only once in my life, when the King took Dawn and me to see the Edge.
“A future ruler should view the Void at least once,” he told us. “It’s important to know your enemy’s face, to sit at his table and show him you have no fear. But do not let it trouble your minds. Remember that Eonnula’s savior will come to defeat all such darkness.”
I spoke to him directly then—not something I did often. “How will we know the savior?”
And he looked at me—my King, my father—and said, “The Priesthood will know. You need not trouble yourself with such things. Only trust, and rejoice, and worship.”
Sayrin, who had accompanied us on the journey to the Edge, nodded and murmured her agreement.
Trust, and rejoice, and worship.
Have faith, and do not fear.
