Page 40 of A City of Emeralds and Envy
“We’ve been through difficult things before, you and I,” I say soothingly. “Remember when you came to me, all torn apart by the Heartless, and I made you the potion you needed? Remember when we fought each other, and then you taught me Jacks-and-Antlers and helped me practice my reading? And then you built me a nest, and we snuggled there together. We’re friends, you and I.” I hesitate, swallowing the emotion that’s trying to clog my throat. “More than friends. I missed you, Caer. I’m here now, and I won’t leave you again, not even if you tear me apart. My life is yours, my heart is yours. You don’t have to be afraid. And if it’s Riordan you’re scared to face—trust me, he cares for you deeply. He came out here searching for you—he made a terrible wish that became a curse, all because he wanted to help you. He—he loves you.”
The monster shudders, growls, but the growl ends in a low whine.
“Come on,” I tell him. “Let’s find him together.”
We continue on, and I keep my hand on his shoulder the whole time, as if the touch is a tether, a line from my heart to his, a tangible way I can keep him grounded, prevent him from losing himself inside the monster’s form.
Together we pace out of the forest into the clearing where we camped—me, naked as a sheared lamb, marked with dirt and blood, and Caer in the guise of a gigantic black panther with a lion’s mane and the wide, wide, fanged mouth of a monster.
The Scarecrow is sitting on the ground, leaning against Riordan’s armored shoulder, cradling Fiero in his lap. Judging by Jasper’s pallor and the defeated forward bend of Riordan’s helmet, something happened to them while I was gone. Dorothy is pacing the clearing restlessly, her hands in her pockets.
When Caer and I appear, she stops short. Riordan’s helmet lifts, but he doesn’t move otherwise. He stays silent, rigid.
But Jasper gasps softly at the sight of the beast beside me. He rises from the ground with slow, cautious grace and a wondering light in his blue eyes. Fiero, tumbled from his resting spot, gives a sleepy sort of half-bark and scurries over to Dorothy, who scoops him up.
Jasper keeps moving forward with one hand outstretched toward Caer. “This is him? The friend you were looking for? He’s beautiful.”
Caer gives a sharp snarl that fades into a displeased, ongoing rumble in his chest.
Jasper smiles, brilliant as sunshine on golden grain, and steps nearer.
Sinks his fingers into Caer’s mane.
With his other hand, he strokes the beast’s glossy black muzzle. “A pleasure to meet you,” he murmurs. “Aren’t you lovely?”
I keep my hand on Caer’s shoulder, terrified that he might bite off the fingers of the golden-haired Fae male who’s petting him—but although he bristles, he doesn’t attack.
For a moment longer I wait, until Caer’s unsettled rumbling shifts into something closer to a purr. And then I leave him with Jasper and approach Riordan, who’s still frozen, sitting by the tree. He doesn’t say a word.
“Did something happen to him while I was gone?” I ask Dorothy.
“The West Witch came by and tormented us with visions of our worst fears,” she explains. “I won his game, and he left. But they were trapped in terrible illusions for quite some time. And I think Riordan felt it more deeply than the Scarecrow did.”
“Areyouall right?” I ask her.
She frowns, looking surprised, as if she didn’t expect me to care. “You’re the one who’s naked and bleeding.”
“True.” I kneel beside Riordan, placing my hand on his breastplate. “Caer was afraid to come here. As you told me, the brutality of his form is tied to how much fear he feels, how strong he thinks he must be to protect himself. I think he needs to hear it from you, that you’re not angry with him. That you care about him.”
A rasp from inside the helmet. “It goes without saying.”
“It doesn’t, though. Unseelie or not, you have to be able to say it. Riordan, please. I can’t bear for the two of you to fight. Look what happened to you two when you were apart!”
“Whenall three of uswere apart.” He speaks so low I barely hear the words.
My breath catches. It’s the first time he has put the three of us together like that—as if we’re a trio, linked on a level deeper than friendship.
“Perhaps we shouldn’t be apart,” I whisper. “Any of us. Ever again.”
“A fine triad we’ll make,” he replies. “The lion, the tin man, and the tender little human. We’ll tear you apart, Alice. Sooner or later we’ll be the death of you. Look at yourself, kitten.”
“Scratches,” I say dismissively. “No worse than a run-in with a restive colt or a troublesome rooster.”
A hoarse laugh from the helmet. “I will speak to him. But only for a moment, and then we must make for the Emerald City as fast as we can. Is he coherent enough to travel the yellow road, without killing you and the others?”
“I think so.” I bite my lip, hesitating before I forge ahead. Riordan may as well know everything. “Caer has been in heat since I first met him, and it has only gotten worse. I think that may have spurred part of his madness and violence. But he—I let him—that is, we—”
“He bred you, and now he feels better,” Riordan says tightly.
