Page 6 of A Court of Hearts and Hunger
Other things I’ve tried to forget. Gods, how I’ve tried.
My lips curl back, exposing my teeth, and Clara’s frown deepens.
“You don’t want to speak to any of the Unseelie you know,” she says. “You don’t want to ask for their help.”
“Most of them wouldn’t help us,” I grit out. “If they found a human girl, they would keep her for themselves.”
“So we have to go get her,” Clara says slowly. “That’s why you’re afraid. You don’t want to go back there.”
Terror plunges a knife into my heart, slicing through the cords holding my tongue captive. “We?” I exclaim. “There is no ‘we’ in this, Clara. The only dilemma here is whether or notIalonewill go after this girl. If I decide to attempt a rescue, you will not accompany me. It’s too dangerous.”
“What did wejusttalk about this afternoon? You letting me take care of myself, allowing me to go where I please.”
“We were talking aboutthis kingdom, not fucking Unseelie! By the old gods, I am not letting you set foot anywhere near that border, and thus I swear by the stars that—”
“No!” She slams her palm over my mouth. “No vows. You think I will let you go anywhere dangerous without me, you gorgeous idiot?”
“I went without you to purge the kingdom,” I mutter against her palm.
“You had Lir and a whole troop of soldiers with you then,” she counters.
“You’ll be a liability. You’ll slow me down.”
“I won’t,” she says stoutly. “I’ve been training. I can fight.”
“Yes, you have been very diligent about your training with Zarai. Though I fail to see why you won’t let me be the one to teach you combat.”
Clara raises her eyebrows. “You know why. You’d turn every session into a sex thing. I wouldn’t be able to focus and learn properly.”
“But it would be so much fun.” I force a grin, sliding my hand along her waist.
“Finias, I’m not letting you distract me from this,” she says sternly. “We can’t leave an innocent human girl to die, and I won’t let you go alone, so we’re going together, and that is final.”
“No.” My heart is pounding, rage and fear flooding my chest. “I won’t let you come with me.”
“But—”
“I cannot yield, not about this, Clara. You don’t know what the Unseelie are like.”
“Yes I fucking do.” Her eyes burn into mine. “I was in the Rat King’s lair. I saw the orgy. I heard the conversations.”
“That was but a taste of who they are, what they can do.”
“You’re the one who is constantly telling other residents of this kingdom that they shouldn’t be so prejudiced and judgmental toward the Unseelie.”
“Not all Unseelie are the same, just as not all Seelie or humans are the same,” I say. “But there is a preponderance of wicked, cruel Fae who cluster around Mallaithe and whatever foul monarch happens to be squatting on the throne at the time. The Unseelie who are kinder, more friendly—they’re not the ones near the Dread Court. They can’t help us find Alice, because she’s been taken by the White Rabbit, and he’s—” I halt, reluctant to say the words.
“Don’t stop,” Clara says. “Finias, tell me. You don’t have to protect me from the truth.”
“He studies humans. Experiments on them in the worst ways. His field is magical research, and for the Unseelie, many human body parts and vital substances are used in spellcraft.”
“And you know him?” Her gaze skins me, laying bare the bloody meat of my cruel heart. “How do you know him, Finias?”
“I was apprenticed to him for a short time. To learn new recipes and methods for crafting complex spells. I did not participate in his research on humans, but I was—adjacent to it.”
I hate myself for pouring that ugly truth into those brown eyes. I am sure the tenderness in them will now be diluted with disgust.
I could tell her that I wasn’t in my right mind. I could explain the circumstances. But I stay silent, watching her reaction.
