Page 117 of A Court of Hearts and Hunger
A fanfare of mellow horns greets the approaching travelers.
“By the Pool, it’s Lir and Louisa,” Fins calls back to me, reining in his horse so I can catch up. “Is it just me, dearest, or do they look rather worse for wear?”
“I thought they left in a coach, with guards!” I exclaim. “Why are they alone, sharing a horse?”
We both spur our horses onward, intercepting Lir and Louisa at the fork in the road.
“God-stars, cousin,” Fin says. “What have you done to yourself? You look dreadful. You, sweet Louisa, look exquisite.”
She doesn’t though. My sister looks exhausted, and thinner, with dark circles under her eyes. But there’s a light between the two of them—a bond stronger than ever. I see it in the way Lir glances back at her, and the way she hugs his waist a little tighter.
“Our trip did not go as planned,” Louisa says.
“We have much to tell you,” Lir adds.
“Much to tell?” Fin taps his chin. “Did you, perchance, forge into Unseelie territory to rescue a kidnapped maid and steal the Tama Olc from the hands of a powerful spellworker? Did you fight the mindless droves of the Heartless, fool the entire Dread Court with glamours, and aid in the destruction of that devious Queen, the Eater of Hearts? Did you celebrate the newfound freedom of the entire Unseelie kingdom and send a human girl safely home?”
Lir’s jaw drops.
“Clara!” Louisa exclaims. “You little minx! You said you were ‘visiting a friend’!”
“We were. Fin has friends everywhere,” I say defensively.
“If ‘friends’ is a term loosely defined,” Fin adds.
“Apparently we have a long night of storytelling ahead of us.” Lir urges his steed into a faster walk. “We’ll need sustenance. Once we get to the palace, I’ll call for food.”
“And wine,” Fin adds. “Plenty of wine. I’ll make dessert.”
“Please,” says Louisa fervently. “I haven’t had a good, thick slice of cake in ages.”
We bring our mounts alongside my sister and her husband, and together we enter the gates of Beannú under the golden rays of the setting sun.
36
After I order Riordan to take off the mask, Fin and Clara make a quick exit, leaving me alone with the White Rabbit.
I don’t want to stay in Faerie. Not really—not exactly. I care about Riordan—there’s something between us, and it’s not friendship, but it’s not love either. I trusted him not to hurt me; I still do. But I can’t trust the life I would have here, in this kingdom. And the thought of living in the Seelie kingdom, far from him, is unbearable too.
None of my choices are quite right. I want too many different things I can’t have.
“You’ll go after Caer, and find him.” It’s not a question—it’s a demand, and I can tell by the pursing of his lips that he knows it. “He needs you.”
“I’ll find him, cowardly cat that he is.” Riordan looks away.
I wait until his gaze wanders back to mine, as if he can’t help it.
“You’re going to pretend I mean nothing?” I whisper. “You’re going to let me go, just like that? After everything you’ve done to me—and what you didforme—”
“You gave your life for my kingdom,” he says curtly. “I gave mine for you. What more do you want?”
Say that you want me, that you’ll miss me, that you regret ever hurting me, that you shouldn’t have stolen me--no, don’t say that, because I can’t imagine my life without meeting you—
Tears are filling my eyes, and his gaze softens. “What you feel for me is false, kitten. It’s not real. You played me beautifully, like a master musician plays a flute. You bluffed with the only cards you had, and you rolled the dice, and you won. I’m not too proud to declare myself beaten. But it was only a game—a dream. It’s time to wake up, Alice.”
He has taken something from his vest pocket—an object—his watch. Above me, on the ceiling, a black spot is whirling, widening—a hole, opening, and a gust of wind rushes between us, coiling around me, separating me from him.
“But what if I don’t want to wake up?” I cry, but my voice is whisked away on the wind and I’m rising from the floor, rising through the hole.
