Page 36 of Anything Necessary for Her
“Cool.” He moved a tendril of hair from my face.
“I like you more every time we spend even a moment together, but I can’t lie and say I’m not afraid, which is the reason for my hesitation as far as telling my familyanything, even something as small as us kicking it or being cool.
“I’ve never been heartbroken, Low-Low, but I’ve witnessed it, and I have too much I’m striving for to be stuck in a can’t eat, can’t sleep type of lifestyle over a man, especially one who doesn’t seem to know the first thing about being in a relationship.”
He chewed on my words as we held unwavering eye contact while my heart thundered in my chest, hoping he would say something to mitigate my anxiety and worries about delving deeper with him.
“I wish I could tell you otherwise, Peep, but I ain’t never made promises on shit I couldn’t come through on.” His words felt like a punch to the chest. “I would love nothing fucking more than to swear and pledge that a nigga was gon’ do everything right and be perfect, but I can’t and I won’t. I only vow to do shit I know I can without fail.”
“You don’t need to be perfect, Willow.” I got off his chest to sit up and look down at him.
“Yeah, I do.” He nodded. “That’s what you deserve. Somebody like yo’ brothers and ya father. I ain’t never been close to perfect in my life. Everything I’ve done has come with strife. And as badly as a nigga wants to give you the world without flaw, my track record says otherwise, and I don’t wanna take you on that type of ride, Peep.”
“You don’t even wanna try?” I frowned.
“You deserve a nigga that’s gon’do, not try.”
Nodding, I tossed my legs off the edge of the bed before requesting, “Can you take me home?”
Without a word, Low got off the bed as well before walking to the door to hold it open for me as I slipped my shoes on.
Leaving the hotel, we said nothing to one another as we waited for valet to bring his car around.
Once inside and on the road, he stressed, “Peep, baby, I’m sorry.” He glanced at me, but I kept my eyes focused on the front windshield, disinterested in his apology.
“I don’t know why your sorry ass brought me on a date, or cooked for me, or been sniffing behind me period.” I laughed humorlessly and shook my head.
“For a minute, I thought I could be the nigga I wanna be for you, but you mentioning getting heartbroken and shit put that into perspective. I don’ broke a bitch down before, Peep, and it wasn’t a good feeling. I don’t wanna do that with you.”
“Whatever.” I pulled out my phone to meander about on it.
I knew he was talking about Rue, because everyone knew how she famously went out sad behind Low. I didn’t know the details, but I knew I heard stories of her crash outs while I had a crush on Low and well after.
“I could’ve lied to you, played the game, fucked on you, and dogged you out unintentionally. That’s what you wanted instead of a nigga being honest?”
“And I would’ve made sure one of my brothers smoked your ass too,” I shot back.
He chuckled, shaking his head.
“You don’t know me well enough if you think I give a fuck about dying, Peep.”
I looked his way, finally, but his eyes were on the road, his hand shielding his mouth as the other controlled the vehicle, as if he were in deep thought. I wanted to prod, find out why he didn’t care about dying but decided against it.
“And stop calling me that.”
“Aight, Banks,” he responded, and I already missed the gentleness behind the way he said my short-lived nickname. Being called Banks felt too cold and callous now.
We stayed quiet for the remainder of the drive until he pulled up in front of my townhouse.
“I guess my brothers were right to warn me off of you.” I tugged on the handle of the door to step out.
“Guess so,” was all he said, making me turn and switch off, leaving his stupid door open so he’d have to climb his sorry ass out and close it himself.
As soon as I crossed the threshold of my doorway, my phone chimed, making me yank it from my purse, thinking it was Low coming to his damn senses.
Seeing my brother’s name on it instead made me roll my eyes. As I read the message, my stomach tanked.
Shakur: Where you at? Presley came by to bring the food and yo’ ass wasn’t even home.
