Page 76 of Of Sockets Of Stitches
I lingered by the seat in the center of his domed room, so open to the night sky. I had presented to him here, time and again. As a human. As a new monster. In confusion of lust. He had provided a stability and security for me in that time.
“Take care, Perantiqua, to not become lost in longing for the past. What we were cannot be what we are, and what wearecannot be denied.”
“Broken.” I faced him. “That is what we are, sir. How is it thatyoudo not long for a simpler and more innocent time?”
“I have seen all that we will be. What we first were was simple and innocent, yes, but lacking in richness and complexity. Ourromance was one-dimensional and pale. No, we were never meant for that.”
“We are meant for everything or nothing.”
He tilted his head. “Would you expect a lesser trial in the quest for a queen’s romance?”
Truthfully?No.I had learned well of such things.
See’s chest expanded, and his quiet words passed through the openings of the dome and out and upward to the cold moon. “You came here this dawn to understand the past. To make sense of the future.”
I frowned. That did ring in my mind and heart. “Perhaps so.”
“What have you discovered?”
I did not answer, and instead walked past him to the stairway. I descended until spotting a large dining chamber. A grand hallway covered in lewd artworks used to lead to the dining chamber, but that was gone.
I stopped by the entrance, recalling how See had embedded me in the stone wall and ravaged me with his power. Such simple lust. Such simple delivery of pleasure. “There have not been many times when our pleasure felt free.”
He strode past to the very chair he had sat in to ravage me.In and out.Part of me was curious to repeat the venture to better feel the contrast of then to now.
See said, “When your mind could not fathom the sight of me, you felt far freer in lust and feeling. Once all of me was visible, particularly my face, a barrier formed in you.”
“My queendom was forming. My power and the deep parts of my mind knew that our romance must alter.”
I glanced between him and the wall. No, I could not repeat that exchange. I had wanted to be stuck in his wall back then. I had liked the pretense, but now my power was undeniable. No wall could hold me but the wall of ancients.
See remained silent as I mused.
And again, I walked on. Down the stairs and into a bed chamber. Moonlight sparkled through the openings and highlighted the prettiness of the feminine room. The chandelier. The wardrobe. The intricate cobwebs glimmering here and there.
A pretty chamber for a princess.
I had woken from slumber here more than once. “This was your dream.”
See circled the room. “This was the longing of a lonely heart. This was a wish, and a foolishness, for I could see centuries into the future—as far as I dared to sit and look. There was no princess for me.”
I swept a hand over the black bedspread. “Because you were blind to romance.”
He acknowledged that with a nod. “I was. So I was meant to despair. I was meant to feel great loneliness. I was not meant to receive the gift of hope for a reason.”
I looked up. “I have not spent time reflecting on the matter, but there is sense in what you say.”
See said, “They wished me to be a desperate and hopeless creature. For when a monster did arrive—one who was as magnificent as she was beautiful—then I would not hesitate to erase all of my beliefs and values in an instant. I would go to war on an irrational whim. I would gladly sink into madness and jealousy over her. I would covet her looks and sighs and groans, and place her above me always. Hardest of all—I would learn to deny her guidance and love and support when necessary todeserveher. For she would be so strong, the strongest, and I was content to lurk beneath her as long as I could deserve her. So ancients blinded me to you with good reason, and they delayed your arrival so that I might watch the romances of other kings and see how they were weak in love or lust or indifference or ambition.”
“They convinced you of the need to transcend love and made you desperate enough to pursue it at all costs.” I could notmove my focus from See. He had always possessed this power to captivate when reciting tale and reason.
“They did, and I am grateful to them.”
I glanced around the chamber. “To think of all that might have remained unfelt if I had agreed to princessdom. I imagine that the world would have slid to ruin long ago.”
See’s face darkened. “The arrival of your queendom could not have come soon enough. That is when I started to awaken to what I must do. That is when I saw the foolishness of my dream.”
“Yet you were always clear on the matter of love. That existed even when you clung to the dream of possessing a princess.”
