Page 79 of Secrets That Bind Us
I gag. “You’re a terrible aunt.”
“I’m the aunt that’s going to get her all kinds of condoms and tell her about that one time Marcus Rowe had chlamydia so bad he had to be hospitalized. I’ll tell her all about theoozingand theodor.” She gags.
I grimace. “I don’t remember that.”
“Yeah, well, it was around the time you and Dean were fucking at least twice a day.”
I feel myself turn a shade of pink so bright I must look like a tomato. “Was I so oblivious?”
My best friend shrugs her shoulders. “You were in love.”
I shake my head. “Iamin love, Zo. In a weird way, we’re practically living together already. He finds ways to be at the same places we are, brings things to the house, and hangs out with the kids. We find ways to bump into each other so we can have dinner as a family. Last week, we went to the community park where he was conveniently coaching. He is so kind to the kids. He helped Sav with homework while I was on the phone with Eli about the grand opening next month. Then, he built a fort with Noah in the living room. Sometimes, he takes him outside and… I don't know. They sit on the porch looking out at the field. Just talking.”
My heart sinks that I haven’t told her we got a paternity test to confirm my suspicions, and Noah is one hundred percent his child. Then again, I haven’t told her about my dreams, or…anything else, really. Like how Savannah always looks at Dean like he hung the moon, and every day, it’s like she’s expecting me to tell her Dean is her biological father. It breaks my heart because that look comes with something like longing. And so I tell her that bit, too.
All my best friend does is grin knowingly my way and lets out a chortle. “What’s Doc Archer have to say about all this?”
I sigh at the mention of the best therapist I’ve ever had. “Dr. Archer tells me I’m progressing wonderfully.” But Doctor Archer also doesn’t know about the fucking ghosts in my house that I’m steadily ignoring. “Asked me if I could see myself living here full time instead of leaving.”
Zoey eyes me curiously. “Can you?”
I lift a shoulder and let it drop. “At times. Especially with being able to work from home. I just feel bad for Eli and Jake. I miss the city. I miss being able to go for a walk around the block. I miss ordering groceries.”
She rolls her eyes in exaggeration, lashes fluttering. “You havetenacres. And Eli and Jake come visit more often than not. They may as well move here, too, now that the Ink Plot’s opening.”
I would shake my head, but she doesn’t know her biggest gift from me and Evan yet, and I won’t spoil that surprise. The music kicks up just as the bartender hands us our last shot of the night. We clink them together and tip them back just as the band starts playingGood Time.
Zoey grabs my arm, and I’m practically yanked off the barstool. “Oh my fucking God! Let’s go!”
I groan, as she pulls me into the lines forming. “Zo, I’m bad at line dancing!”
She laughs. “You know this one!”
I sigh, she’s right. Idoknow this one. But I'm a little tipsy, and it’s been a while. Soon enough, I’m letting myself follow her steps, laughing when I bump into her. The song stops just as I was enjoying myself, and a slow song starts. I hold out my hand, and Zoey takes it. We two-step clumsily from both the whiskey and me being rusty. God, I haven't danced inages. I try to remember the last time I danced, and it goes back to Dean. Always Dean. When the song’s over, we head back to the bar, where our seats are waiting for us. We order two more drinks, and this time, we sip.
“I helped him, you know?”
A voice says. I blink at Zoey who’s gaze is steady on the person behind me. I stand and turn to face Tiffany. She looks older now. Tired. The kind of tiredness where life just hasn’t been good to you. The kind of tired you can feel in your bones until it hits your soul.
I know that kind of tired.
“I helped him. While you were off making your millions,Istayed and took him to physical therapy.Imade sure he kept every appointment.Imade sure he ate.Iwas there when he would cry for you.Me.”
Taking a deep breath, I really take the time to drink her in. There isn’t malice in her eyes, just a deep sadness that makes the neons on the wall less blue. Like she’s taken the hue all for herself. I’m sure she isn’t expecting it, truth be told, I'm not either. I could blame it on the whiskey, but I throw my arms around her and give her a squeeze. “Thank you. I do know you did. He told me everything. And I just want to saythank you.You didn’t have to. I know you have a past. I know maybe this isn’t the way you thought things would turn out– but thank you.”
I let go of her and keep my hands on her arms. She still looks stunned– shocked into a quiet, wide-eyed stare. She blinks and looks up just as I feel someone behind me.
“Can I have this dance?” His hands settle on the flare of my hips, and I turn, immediately putting my arms around him. I pull Dean into a hug so I can smell his woodsy and rainwater scent. It’s changed since we were teens, but he smells even better now. Masculine. Grown. Fuck, I love him.
“I love you.” I breathe.
“I love you, more.” He chuckles, and I can feel the rumble in his chest beneath the soft fabric of his shirt against my cheek. “How much have you had to drink?”
“Does it matter?”
“That depends. Can you dance with me?”
Feeling all kinds of warm, I nod. “Yeah.”
