Page 41 of Secrets That Bind Us
I almost shake. “I should’ve worded it better. It locks on the inside for… protection. Instances like this. They locked me out while I looked for the intruder. I heard someone upstairs before I heard the sirens. I back peddled, and I got them out through the window.”
I feel a little better about us when Dean not only looks impressed, but a little proud… of me. “You looked for the intruder? Verity… you have kids. What were you thinking?”
Guilt eats at me. He’s right. “I know. Trust me, I went back into my room and got them out to safety as soon as I heard someone walking around upstairs.”
Dean shakes his head at me. “Do you have a gun?”
I shake my head. “Just a good old softball bat.”
He nods wearily, eyes bouncing between me, Noah, and Savannah. “I’ll stick around for a few hours to stay guard.”
“That isn’t necessary-“
“Verity,” he cuts me off, and I shut my mouth. “You and your children are scared. Go inside. I’ll stay out here. Make sure you’re alright and there are no other signs of anyone on the property.”
“Okay.” I agree, because what else can I do? Angry as he is, he still wants to protect me… us. Our child. Noah. God, I’m horrible. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry. We go inside while he stays outside to debrief the other officers, and they leave– him staying in his cruiser. I finally have them settled in my bed when I hear his cruiser’s door slam shut.
It’s still not the right time to talk. My nerves are fried, and now, without the adrenaline in my veins, I’m exhausted. This has been one of the worst nights since the sun went down in my life. I go to the living room and see him pacing up and down my driveway through the window. Under the light of the moon, I watch him– a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders– pausing now and then to glance at the house before he begins pacing again. Up and down, back and forth.
I shouldn’t be doing this, but I can hear the ache in his heart calling to me. I have to somehow make it better, and all I can pray for is that I somehow don’t make it worse. Because Sav is right – I’m a terrible human being, and we never should have come here.
Dean stops pacing when he hears the front door open. He’s tall. So much taller than me, in fact, that I have to crane my head back to look at him.
He shakes his head softly, and inky strands fall forward, following the movement. His eyes close, and when they open they’re a beautiful midnight blue, full of stormsIcaused. “Verity.” My name on his lips feels like a whispered caress that dances along my shoulders and embraces me.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. It’s all I can afford to say without fucking this up further.
He puts his hand on his hip and shakes his head again in disbelief. The disappointment is prominent in his gaze. And it breaks me that I caused that. “You can’t keep her away from me.”
“I wasn’t planning to; I just didn’t know how to tell you. I want her to get to know you. I want her to have her father in her life, but I have to be careful. It’s not just her heart I have to protect, Dean, it’s Noah’s, too.”
And mine.
His hands curl into fists and I see the tremor he tries to hide. Tattoos on his forearms, intricate and beautiful, just add to his darkness. The darkness I crave. The darkness I’ve missed. The arms. Him. His intensity. Just him. Everything that is Dean Carson.
But unfortunately, I don’t know this man standing before me. I knew the boy. But God, I want to knowthisman. I want to fall in love with this man, and with our history, that won’t be an issue. I have loved every sliver of Dean I was given. And while some hurt, most healed.
“I want to meet her. Properly.”
I nod enthusiastically. “You will, I promise. Just… just give me time. Okay? It’s hectic, and being a mom is a lot of work.” I’m about to go off on a tangent and word vomit all over him and the ground between us about everything I have going on in my life but I shut my mouth.
Midnight storms look past me at the house, then back down at me– and all I want him to do is take me in his arms and tell me… what?
“You’re never getting rid of me now, Verity.” He smirks, and God, I melt, because it is such a Dean Carson thing to say and that’sexactlywhat I needed to hear.
I huff out a relieved laugh, take a few steps back, and turn around. But then, I glance over my shoulder to watch him still staring at me– that deliciously wicked little gleam in his eye. “Who said I wanted to?”
I don’t let him answer. I just step onto the porch and into the house, locking the door behind me.
Chapter Nineteen
Verity
Age Eighteen
I should talk to Dean.
Scratch that.
