Page 74 of Secrets That Bind Us
"Ah fuck! That’s it. Grip me tight. Fuck, you’re squeezing my cock so good." He groans.
"Don't fucking stop! Keep fucking me, please!" Ibeg. I haven’t begged in what feels like millennia.
"Fuck, I love that. On all fours, gorgeous."
I'm flipped over and pulled by my hips, my hair twisted around his wrist, and then impaled so roughly, so wonderfully, I scream out in agonizing bliss and topple over again... and again in every position I'm fucked in, until he collapses beside me, drenched in sweat, panting.
Minutes later, mask still slightly skewed on his face, he snores softly beside me. I take in the profile of his face, of this stranger, wishing with all my heart... it was Dean. But Dean didn't have all these tattoos, these scars, these...muscles. So defined and...
And I need to go.
I slip out of bed and find a robe, but I take my dress and my purse with me, slip on my heels, and slip out, awkwardly striding to the hotel elevator to the suite on the fourteenth floor to watch the sunrise over the Dallas skyline like I've done so many times alone. I send Zoey a text message that I'm safe, and back in my room.
With a sigh, I drop my robe, go to the large bathroom to look at the small, beautiful bruises now decorating my skin, made with what feels like care. I touch each one, pressing down until the skin turns white, and let it go.
I shake the feeling of how much they remind me of a loft in a barn, sheltering two lovers in a storm, and how much they take me home. How much they take me back to Dean. The back of my eyeballs burn, and tears well. I let them spill over. Just this once. Just this once I allow myself to grieve the love I have for him. Just this once I allow myself to remember what it felt like to be loved by Dean Carson. Just this once I cry in the shower, letting every tear fall to crash around me with the water on my head. Just this once I sink to the ground and let every unforgiving wail out until the water goes cold.
Instead of watching that sunrise, I book a flight back to New York, back to my high-rise. I shoot a text to Zoey, get dressed, and get the hell out of dodge.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Verity
Present Day
Dean watches me with what looks like a mixture of anger and disbelief.
“You know I went to brunch for them that morning, thinking I would see you because Evan told me you would be there, since you were unofficially the official Maid of Honor. I was so sure it was you that I'd slept with, and I was hoping we could talk in the morning once the masks came off, but I'd fallen straight to sleep. If I'm honest, I hadn't been that tipsy since high school. But I kept drinking to take the edge off. I was so nervous about seeing you again, you know? So I kept tipping them back the longer the night wore on and I hadn't seen you. When I woke up alone, it all felt like a weird dream.” He sighs and I nod along because yeah, had I not run back to my room, I would have said the same. “But once I got downstairs they said you’d left during the party early due to some… emergency and…” He shakes his head again. “Verity… it’s like we’re on this weird fucking course, or some alternate timeline and we keep being led to each other.”
I grin, and nod. “I keep thinking that, too.”
“What made you realize I’m Noah’s father?”
I blush something crimson and look away.
“Oh, now you gotta tell me.”He chuckles.
I groan into my hand. “The way you just fucked me. It was like you shook up this core memory for me, and it didn’t just take me back to that night, it took me back to every single time we’ve ever had sex." I blink a few times, watching the way his smile widens. “Dean…”
“Hmm?”
“I don’t know how to fast track this with the kids. They still… they have to get used to you and seeing us together.”
He shrugs. “Verity, we can go at your pace, I won't fight you on it. I just… I want to get to know them, too. Help with homework, making dinners, I want to show up for school functions. I want to do life with you. Them. Let’s just let this happen naturally, okay? You showed me some of the ugly, but I know that’s not all of it. I want the good, the bad, and all the precious moments. I want to hold your hand in this life and in the next.”
“It’s not always glamorous, you know.” I retort.
“What’s it like, then?”
I swallow. “For a really long time, it was lonely. Yeah, Savannah and Noah are a huge part of my life, but they’re in school. And even though yes, sometimes, I have meetings and I’m crunching on time to write. There’s book tours… a lot of those moments… I was alone. Really, really alone. I would be in a sea of people, crowded, taking pictures with fans, and talking to them, and… and then I would go back to my hotel room and be… alone. You’d think I would be grateful for quiet time after being in loud spaces, but the truth was, I didn't have anyone to celebrate a good day with. Big milestones, yes. But just a regular good day? A day where I could say,‘I wrote a whole chapter today instead of staring at the wall or second-guessing myself after each paragraph.’ or I’d get an idea in my head and I'd want to talk about it with someone so much, but… it felt like nobody cared. Nobody but Eli, but he doesn’t usually like to hear about an idea until I at least have a prologue and five chapters ready.”
Dean takes my hand in his, and guides me while laying us down, keeping his eyes steady on mine. “I want to know every thought in your head. That may be lame, but, in school you were so… mysterious. You always looked like… like you had so much to say and all I wanted to do was hear you talk to me about it. It’s why I stared at you so much. I wanted to lean over so bad and ask.”
“I put you in every book I wrote,” I confess.
“I know,” he grins smugly, eyes closing. “I read every single one of them.” He has scruff on his face, but goddamn, he looks so peaceful while he's asleep, a sliver of moonlight peeks through the curtains, and even though my own lids are growing heavy, I can't help but admire him.
Beautiful. But he was always beautiful. Now he's… he's here. He's home.I’mhome. He’s in my home… and he'smine.
