Page 65 of Secrets That Bind Us
"He'd build a ladder to the moon and hang all the stars for you, you know?"
This makes her lose it.Thismakes her cry soft sobs. Not for the love her man has for her, but for me. I clutch the blanket in my hands so fucking tightly the skin around my knuckles hurts. But she doesn't push to hold me, doesn't push to seek more out of me. Except she hangs her head in her hands and says, "Why do I get the good one and you only get to write about it?"
Memories of cobalt blue eyes, clumsy fingers and lips, words of praise and broken promises flood my mind.
"Because some of us were only meant to watch it from afar and write about it. Some of us were only meant to catch a glimpse of that supernova... and I'm okay with that." And when she breaks out in tears again, I feel even more hollow.
I finally realize why Mama's fingers were always cold, even in the summertime.
It's one thing to let your heart break– it's another to feel any warmth you had left within– leave your very soul.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Dean
Present Day
Is it weird to say I’m… nervous?
I check my reflection in the full-length mirror hung on the back of my bedroom door. I exhale as I check out my boots, my denim jeans that are a bit tighter than I used to wear in high school, and my black long-sleeve Henley. It’s not too cold out, but enough a breeze might bring a chill. And I’m riding tonight, so I know there will be. But I’m not riding the Harley. The nostalgia keeps hitting me hard, memories of Verity keep springing up faster than I can prepare for them.
Running her fingers through my hair while I lay my head on her lap. Chasing her through the field of sunflowers that tower over us like corn stalks. It’s a maze in there, but she’s always my focal point– find the girl of my dreams. Every kiss, from soft, to chaste, to ravaging. Getting her naked was always fun but having her in my arms in any manner was the end goal. The first argument we have that isn’t about our future, is by the pond while Evan and Zoey look on. It’s a dumb fight, but the end result is me shutting her up with a kiss. Her, teaching me how to two-step under a full moon.
We get caught in a rainstorm and find shelter under an awning in town, where I crowd her and beg for a kiss while those big, doe eyes gaze up at me, water still dripping, and I swear, this is my favorite view of her until I see her again. Every time I see her, is my new favorite memory. She goes to all my legal races, cheering me on, and then one night… after the last game where we don’t make it to playoffs, which means there won’t be any scouts watching for me at state, she surprises me.
I’m a little upset about the game, but I hold her hand anyway, not letting that fuck up my time with her. Because now I know it’s limited.No scouts mean no college. Even with as much as I’ve saved up stripping cars for my uncle – or racing legally – won’t be enough tuition for NYU. I’m depleted. My energy is low, but I got my girl by my side wearing my letterman. The night’s still young. Good things can still happen.
I walk her to Zoey’s jeep, then spin her around before opening the door for a quick kiss. Big eyes look up at me, cheeks pink from the cold breeze. I know she can feel what I’m feeling, but just like me, she’s not letting it ruin our time together. “See you tonight?”
“Leave your window open.” I tap my lips to hers, and she sighs happily against me. “I love you, Verity, soon-to-be Carson.”
“To Jupiter and back.” She replies.
After going home to shower and change, it takes me no time whatsoever to get to her place, climb the trellis, open her window, take off my socks, and slip into bed with her. She’s warm and so cute in her little jammies under the blanket when I tug her to me.
“About time,” she says sleepily, and I can hear the smile in her voice when she turns around in my arms, wrapping one of hers around my torso. It’s ending a day like today like this that tells me I never want to end a day any other way. Not in anyone else’s arms. I don’t ever want another girl laying on my chest like this.
In the dim glow of her laptop, a gift I got her for her birthday so she can type all her stories up, I take in her profile. I inhale slowly, trying to make my heart stop racing. “You’re so goddamn beautiful, Verity.”
“I got you something.” She says against my chest, every word vibrating.
Running my hand down to her hip, I give her a squeeze. I raise my brows then pin them together, “Is it a marriage license?”
She giggles softly. “No, but… pretty close to it.” She gets up only to reach over into her nightstand and pulls out an envelope. “Here.”
I sit up, and carefully open it, eyeing her suspiciously. It’s two tickets to New York– one leaves on the thirty-first of October; the other doesn’t have a date. My stomach drops, but my heart swells to maximum proportions. “Ver…” I croak out.
“Maybe I’m crazy, but I don’t want to do New York without you. The ticket doesn’t expire until next year. You can come after you graduate.” She explains, but I tug her to me and kiss her so hard she mumbles an ‘ow!’
I shake my head. “I’ll go with you when you leave.”
“Dean, you should graduate.”
“I don’t want to be stuck here without you. I’ll figure it out.”
She blows out a breath and straddles me, her arms on my shoulders, “Okay, but if you change your mind and want to graduate, that’s okay, too.”
We spend the night napping in-between fucks, and at one point, it’s so heated, I know we’re making love. Because that’s what we are. Every fuck turns into that– low hushed whispers, praise falling from each other’s lips in-between kisses, needing more and diving off that cliff together.
