Page 14 of Collision of Winters
“It’s a process,” he whispered back. “I didn’t know you had a fish tank.”
I nodded and yawned again. “Mom sold it. But my neighbor, Mr. Davis, gave me two Push Pops to comfort me, thus beginning my love story with lollipops.”
“I do remember those.”
I heard the smile in Wade’s voice.
Yeah, he’d come home with one for me from time to time. Even as an adult, I loved them.
I stretched out my legs next to his and rested my head on his shoulder, and I didn’t look away from the flames.
It wasn’t a roaring fire. More like…chill flames after smoking a joint.
I loved the smell of burning wood too. Combined with leather, oil, and the wet forest…
I sighed contentedly.
This moment was perfect.
“I was thinkin’ about what you said earlier,” he went on quietly. “I get it. I understand needing something to fulfill a purpose and be happy. Especially when it’s part of your identity.”
Ireallyloved this moment.
His understanding blanketed me with comfort and relief.
“Do you feel that way too?” I asked.
He hummed and rested one foot over the other. “I used to. But as you pointed out, I’m very old, and eventually, you lose hope.”
I scrunched my nose and tilted my face to look him in the eye. Except, his stare remained fixed on the fire.
He cracked a small grin eventually. “It’s not as dark as it sounds. It’s just…” He shrugged slightly. “You learn to appreciate what you have.”
That wasn’t good enough.
He finally turned to me, which brought us very close, and I swallowed hard. He was so, so handsome. Hot and sexy and beautiful and charming and?—
Duuuude. You’ve been down this road before.
Crap. But an encore of a harmless crush wasn’t too bad, was it? He’d never know.
“I can honestly say I’m happy,” he murmured. “All the while…of course I wish some things had turned out differently.”
I could think of one or two things.
“You haven’t dated much,” I pointed out. “Peter was a donkey ass, and that Dutch guy didn’t deserve you either.”
He chuckled silently before he sighed. “It’s not easy when you have a list of desires that goes beyond connecting with someone.”
“Amen, brother.” I faced the fire again. “Don’t tell Chris, but I like it here. A lot.”
“I know.” Ugh, he was smug again.
“Smug Doms are theworst.”
“Oh no,” he laughed. “Smugbrats, however…”
Bullcrap!
