Page 51 of Don't Speak
“I see your mother has already filled you in on some of the details.”
“They should have finished the job,” I spit. “No one would have missed you.” I don’t know where this sense of bravery came from, but the words are coming out a whole lot more confident than I actually feel right now.
“That mouth of yours has always been a problem. Well, for the most part.” He says that last part with a shit-eating grin on his face, and I have to fight back the urge to break down. Being reminded of what he did has always sent me into an immediate panic.
“How was prison life? Did anyone make you their little bitch? I’m surprised to see you still walking, actually. I figured the other inmates would have taken care of that,” I taunt. Stupidly, I must admit.
Sean’s eyes darken, and pure rage graces his facial features. I must have hit a nerve. Suddenly, the gun is pointed in my direction, Sean still standing in the doorway.
“You think you’re so fucking smart, don’t you, Nikki? I wouldn’t have even been in prison if it weren’t for you! The letter that Charlie wrote was circumstantial at best. It was YOUR testimony that landed me behind bars!” he screams, his finger sliding over the trigger.
“You deserved every bit of what you got. You shouldn’t have been touching little girls, you fucking sicko!”
“Nikki! Stop!” my mother chimes in, hysterically crying at this point. She stands next to me, grabbing my hand and yanking on it. It’s no use. I’m just getting started. I have decades of built-up anger at the man standing before me, gun or not. All rationality has left the building.
“Did it make you feel manly? Did taking my innocence away make you feel all tough and strong? Did the big, bad, scary man feel like an alpha male after touching little girls?” I taunt, bringing my voice down in a mocking, baby-ish tone. “You were worthless then, and you’re still worthless now. You’ll live and die knowing your legacy on this earth is being a child predator. No one will mourn you when you’re gone. Aside from your bitch of a son.”
“That’s it!” he roars. “I’ve had enough!” I close my eyes, and suddenly, the sound of the gun goes off, and it feels like time slows right at that moment. Memories flash in my mind, but this time, only the good ones fill my head. It’s like my mind knows this is it. The end of it all.
Only the bullet never comes. I snap my eyes open, and standing before me, blocking the view of Sean in the doorway, is my mother. I look down and see a red stain blooming on her chest. Just as her knees buckle, I catch her, trying to hold onto her as much as I can with one arm still chained to the bed. I bring her down onto the mattress with me, her draped across my body.
The red bloom grows larger, spreading across the entirety of her chest. I pull my hands back to see them covered in blood. I place them back over the wound, watching her take slow, shallow breaths. They sound wheezy, and she’s struggling to breathe. My brain finally catches up with the reality unfolding before me, and images of my childhood flash in my mind. I get a glimpse of all the good moments we had, playing like a reel in my mind. Our shopping days when I got to play hooky fromschool, her teaching me how to pitch in softball since she played too, all the times we ate junk food in her bed and watched movies while Sean was away on business trips. It’s like my brain knows what is happening to her and is only allowing me to see the good, refusing to taint those memories of her.
“No, no, no! You’re gonna be fine. It’s gonna be fine. We can fix this.” This time, when the tears form, I let them fall, unable to hold back the dam any longer. “Why did you do that?!” I scream, looking down at her. Her body shakes as she tries to get oxygen in. “I-I-I’m s-s-orry. F-for every-y-y-th-i-ng. I wish I-I could ha-have be-been a bet-ter mom t-to y-you,” she chokes out, blood starting to form in the corners of her mouth. She turns those ocean blues to me one last time and says, “I love you, Nikkibug.” Then, she stills, her ocean blue gaze now lifeless before me.
“NO!” I scream. “Mom, please.” I shake her. “Please come back.” My voice cracks, and the tears keep falling.
“How ironic,” Sean mocks. “She couldn’t protect you then, and she died only to leave you and me alone together,” he says with a wicked grin. He stalks over to me, grabbing my mother out of my lap and dragging her off to the side of the room. He places the gun on a table out of reach from me. Then, he strides back over to me, grabbing another pair of handcuffs from his back pocket, and he slaps them onto my free wrist, connecting it to the railing with my other one. I officially have no way of fighting him off me.
Once he’s satisfied with his restraints, he straddles me, dipping his nose into my neck and inhaling.
“Mmmm, I’ve missed your scent.”
I fight the nausea and lift my neck up, grabbing onto his ear with my teeth and biting down. He screams and immediately jerks his head away, but not before a piece of his ear is left in my mouth. He looks down at me with a rage I’ve not seen yet. I spit out the piece of his ear at him, and before I know it, he smacksme hard across the face. The pain races up the side of my face, causing my vision to blur momentarily.
“I’m gonna take my sweet time with you. You’ll feel every ounce of my touch on your body, inside and out. Then, and only then, will I kill you. You’ll die knowing I was the last thing to touch you,” he growls.
The tears flow again. “Don’t you fucking dare!”
He leans down and licks the tears falling down my cheek. “You know I love it when you cry for me.”
Taking his hands, he runs them up my shirt, grabbing onto both of my breasts and giving them a rough squeeze. “These are much bigger than I remember,” he comments.
Next, he trails his hands down to the waistline of my underwear. I know there’s nothing I can do to prevent this, so I decide to do the only thing I can to protect myself.Disassociate. I travel into the depths of my mind, finding a happy memory I can live in for the moment. Thoughts of Dean return, and I begin reliving all the moments the two of us shared. I’m really going to miss him. I hope he finds peace one day about what happened to his sister. He deserves to be happy.
Just as I’m about to give in to the thoughts and check out of reality, Sean’s weight disappears, and I hear the sounds of fists meeting flesh. I turn my head, trying to make out what’s happening on the floor. When I’m finally able to focus on the ball of men wrestling beside me, hope fills my chest as I take in the sight of someone I thought I’d never see again.
Dean.
CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO
The shouting I hear guides me through the halls of the familiar institution. Reaching my destination, I push open the door a little further to see Sean straddling Nikki, running his hands down her body to her underwear. She lies there lifeless, completely still. I don’t have time to think, all I see is red.
I charge toward him, grab him by the shirt, and throw him to the ground. I had the element of surprise, but he quickly realizes what is happening. He tries to get back up, but I rear back and punch him square in the nose, relishing in the sound of it cracking beneath my fist. He shouts, instinctively grabbing hisnose. He’s lying on his back, and I use this as my opportunity. I straddle him, and rain blow after blow.
“This.”Punch. “Is.”Punch. “For.”Punch. “My.”Punch. “Sister.”Punch.
I look down at him, and his face is covered in cuts and blood. I look up at Nikki momentarily, and she stares at me wide-eyed and full of tears. My heart breaks looking at her. She’s handcuffed to the bed, and she is missing her pants. Rage fills me once again, and I go to raise my fist, but the faintest voice stops me.
