Page 5 of Viking
Athena didn’t move.
I tried again.“Are you hungry?I have some cookies.Or maybe apple slices?”
Nothing.I glanced around desperately, looking for something, anything that might break through that silent wall.My eyes landed on a stuffed rabbit sitting on the armchair -- a prize from a carnival that Kris had won for me years ago.
“Hey,” I said, reaching for it.“Do you like rabbits?This one’s name is Hopper.He’s very friendly.”
I held out the faded blue rabbit, its long ears flopping over my hand.For a moment, Athena remained still.Then, slowly, she took a step forward.Another.Her small hand reached out, hovering just short of touching the toy.
“He’s yours if you want him,” I said.“I think he’d like having someone new to take care of him.”
Her fingers closed around the rabbit’s middle, and she pulled it carefully toward her chest.She didn’t smile, didn’t speak, but something in her posture relaxed slightly as she held the stuffed animal against her.
The door opened again as Ms.Winters returned with a small pink suitcase.“All set,” she said brightly.“Now, I’ll be checking in regularly, of course.First visit will be in three days.And you have my number if you need anything at all before then.”
I walked her to the door, listening to instructions about routines and comfort objects and signs of trauma that I should watch for.All the while, I was acutely aware of Athena standing in my living room, holding my childhood stuffed rabbit, alone in a strange place with a stranger who happened to share her blood.
When Ms.Winters finally left, I closed the door and turned back to the child -- my niece, my responsibility, the last living piece of my brother.
“Well,” I said, forcing a smile I didn’t feel, “I guess it’s just you and me now.”
Athena looked up at me, her eyes so much like mine, so much like Kris’s, and for the first time, I saw something in them besides wariness.A question, maybe.Or the faintest glimmer of hope.
And in that moment, standing in my messy living room with this silent child who had lost everything, I felt something shift inside me.A fierce, unexpected protectiveness that pushed through my grief and fear.“It’s going to be okay,” I told her, and maybe myself too.“I promise.”
I didn’t know if I could keep that promise.I didn’t know the first thing about being a parent.But I knew that I would do whatever it took to keep her safe, to give her what Kris would have wanted for her.
For now, that would have to be enough.
Athena fell asleep on the couch after lunch, curled into a tight ball with Hopper the rabbit clutched against her chest.I covered her with a soft blanket, watching the steady rise and fall of her breathing, the way her copper curls spilled across the cushion.She hadn’t spoken a single word since arriving -- not to me, not to the social worker.Not even a whisper.Three hours into guardianship, and I was already wondering if I’d made a terrible mistake thinking I could do this.She was so small, so vulnerable, and so completely shut down that I had no idea how to reach her.
Lunch had been an awkward affair -- me chattering nervously about nothing while she stared at the peanut butter sandwich I’d made, taking tiny mouse bites only after I’d demonstrated that it was safe to eat.She’d followed me around the house like a silent shadow, those watchful eyes taking in everything but giving nothing away.When I’d suggested a rest on the couch, she’d climbed up without protest and simply curled into herself, as if trying to take up as little space as possible.
My heart ached thinking about what might have happened to make her this way.Kris would never have neglected her -- of that I was certain.Had the woman who’d been caring for her done something?The thought made my gut clench in protest.I’d never understand people who could harm sweet innocent children.
I glanced at the small pink suitcase the social worker had brought in, sitting untouched by the front door.Maybe there were answers there.At the very least, I needed to know what she had, what she might need.
Moving quietly so as not to wake her, I carried the suitcase to the kitchen table and unzipped it.The contents were pitiful -- a few sets of clothes, most looking worn and slightly too small.A pair of pajamas with faded unicorns.A toothbrush in a plastic case.A small stuffed dog that had seen better days.I had a hard time picturing my brother neglecting his daughter to this extent, which made me think it had been the caregiver’s fault.And at the bottom, a plastic bag containing an envelope.My breath caught when I saw my name written on the front -- Kris’s handwriting, the familiar slant of his letters making my eyes sting with fresh tears.
“Oh, Kris,” I whispered, running my fingers over the ink.It was real, tangible proof that he had existed, that he had thought of me.That he had trusted me with the most precious thing in his life.
With trembling hands, I opened the envelope and pulled out several sheets of paper.The first was a formal-looking document -- legal paperwork naming me as Athena’s guardian and requesting that I adopt her in the event of his death.It was dated just three months ago, as if he’d somehow known his time was running short.Of course, I’d already handled paperwork like this from the social worker, but seeing a copy my brother personally sent to me hit me hard.
Behind this was a handwritten letter on lined paper, folded in thirds.I took a deep breath and unfolded it.
Lina,
If you’re reading this, then I’m gone, and I’m so damn sorry for that.I’m sorry for a lot of things, especially for not telling you about Athena sooner.I wanted to.Every time we talked, every time I saw you, I wanted to tell you about this amazing little person who has my stubborn chin and your fiery hair.But I couldn’t risk it -- not until I was sure it was safe.
Athena is my daughter.Her mother was someone I met during a mission four years ago.It wasn’t serious between us, but when she told me she was pregnant, I stepped up.When Athena was born, her mother decided she couldn’t handle parenthood and signed over full custody to me.I’ve been raising her with help from friends when I’m deployed.
Here’s the part that’s going to be hard to believe, but I need you to trust me.If I died during a mission -- and if you’re reading this, that’s what happened -- then there’s a chance you and Athena could be in danger.The work I was doing was classified, and there are people who might think I told my family things I shouldn’t have.They might think Athena knows something, or that I left information with her or her caregivers.
I didn’t.I never brought my work home.But these people don’t take chances.So I need you to do something that’s going to sound crazy.I need you to take Athena and go to Lief Hansen -- Viking, as he’s called now.He’s with the Dixie Reapers MC in southern Alabama.He’ll know what to do.He’ll keep you both safe.
I know I’m asking a lot.I know you probably haven’t seen Lief in years.But he’s family to me, and he’ll protect what’s mine.And Lina -- you and Athena are mine.My sister.My daughter.The two people I love most in this world.
Just go to Viking as soon as you can.He’ll explain everything.
