Page 86 of Nobody Wants Me
“She is the only one not here, and we’re no closer to finding Freya.What are we doing?Killing a bunch of people that know absolutely nothing about what we fucking need!”
Ivan moved toward me, and he gripped the back of my neck.
“I get it,” he said.“I get that you’re angry right now.I know you need to get her back, trust me, I know.Do you think we’re the only ones working this?Rage and the Evil Savages are doing what they need to do.Slavik, Andrei, Ive, and Peter, they are all on this.It’s not just us.I’ve got everyone working to get where we need to be.We’re going to make this work.Of that, you have my word.The Butcher is solid, okay.I know you have your doubts, but trust me on this one.She has your back.She has all of our backs, and you’re going to be grateful for it.We’re going to get her back.”
I trusted Ivan.I had put my life and everything in Ivan.
“I hated her,” I said.“She did nothing wrong and I hated her.She is the most precious thing you have given me and at the beginning, I treated her like shit.She doesn’t deserve this.”
“We’ll make it right.”
I didn’t know how we were going to make this right.There was nothing we could do but wait.I wasn’t a patient man.
Freya didn’t deserve us to be waiting around.She had to live.There was so much I wanted to do for her, to give her.
And there was nothing I could do.Killing was all I had to offer.
****
Ivan
It had been a long time since I felt helpless.
I had done everything with control.I’d been the one to make the decisions.
That little boy who had been taken to be killed was a long time ago.I’d not been short on speech in a very long time.I always knew what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it.Words came easily to me.
Ever since I had gotten into Harris’s world, it seemed words had failed me.I was not afraid of Harris.He was just another rich guy with sick twisted fantasies, and a means to ...control.Did I know he was part of The Grid?No, I hadn’t.Did I know he’d taken my half-sister and kept her a secret all these years?No, I hadn’t.
I didn’t like to be the one who wasn’t in control.
From the moment I had ever met Freya, it had been one revelation after another.Trying to get to know my sister was proving to be a difficult thing.Now they had her, and that to me was just unacceptable.I hadn’t taken the time to get to know her and now she was gone.I needed her to come back.I had to fix this.
The Butcher not being here didn’t alarm me.I was used to her coming and going as she pleased.She had a way of finding shit out, and everything just fell into place.
Taking down The Grid was now my number one priority, but it would seem Eric had other plans.
I made my way outside to the car, and that was when I felt my cell phone buzzing.I was tempted to ignore it, but right now I needed some good news.Seeing who it was, I frowned.The Butcher was calling me.
“Where are you?”I asked.
She gave me her exact location.“I want to say, Ivan Volkov, it has been an honor to serve you.The Beast is the better option when it comes to being your Brigadier, and I know we’ve technically been running the show together these last few years, but he is the better choice.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m not going to make it,” The Butcher said.
“Bethany,” I said.
This made her laugh.“I should have known you would know my name.”
“Of course.”I gripped the phone tightly.“You do not need to do this.”
“Yeah, I do.She’s a good girl, Ivan.We both know that.She is a good girl with good standards, and this doesn’t need to happen.I can get her out.It’s not going to be easy, but I can do it.You’re going to need to get here, and I’m going to lead her down to the end.The entrance will not be accessible.I already had it rigged to blow up in thirty minutes, long enough for me to make this call, and to tell you I am going to die, and I am okay with that.”
“Don’t do this,” I said.
“You’re a good guy, Ivan.Keeping you alive all those years ago was the right thing to do, but now it’s time to pay the price.Goodbye.”
