Page 5 of Nobody Wants Me
Freya
My husband hated me and did everything he could to avoid me.That was fine, as long as I was good and didn’t make waves or cause a fuss, I would be safe.
I’d never been involved in any of my father’s business.At twenty-five years old, I had lived a rather sheltered life.It kind of helped that I was a natural recluse and liked my own company.I didn’t make friends well.
Also, my father couldn’t stand the thought of me being known by many people.I was homeschooled and took online courses.
I had my own small house, within his grounds, but he never had to see me.I lived my own life, and he made sure I had an allowance.With no other bills to pay, I saved a lot of money from that allowance, although I could have quite easily spent it all on fabric or makeup.I didn’t.I always tried to live within my means.
He refused to allow me to get a job.Again, it was all about his personal image to the outside world.It would look bad if I attempted to go to work.He couldn’t stand it, so I didn’t.
All I did was try to be a better person.I gave money to charities I loved.I volunteered at an animal shelter, and a homeless one as well.At least, I had until my dad found out and pretty much trapped me in my own home.There had been guards stationed outside my home to stop me from leaving.That was the first time I felt like a prisoner.
There were guards outside of Victor’s home as well.He was part of the Volkov Bratva.I do not have the first clue how my father got meddled up in Bratva, but from my short research, it wasn’t good.I had no idea how my father had been able to maintain a loving personality for the world to see, while living a lie behind closed doors.
But then, I’ve come to see that everyone seems to do that.I’m the same person outside that I am on the inside.
It had been fun spending time with Rafael.I’m used to people not liking me.I’ve been told that people put up with me because of my last name.Other than that, I’m not likable or attractive.When I was younger, my half-brothers told me I was ugly, fat, and horrible, and no one would ever want to be my friend.You grow a thick skin.Add to the fact that social situations make me nervous, and I don’t like crowds, which meant I was used to being alone.
I found a sense of peace in the quiet.Also, being told I was hated meant that I worried about imposing on other people’s time.So, I always told Rafael that if I irritated or annoyed him, or he didn’t want my company, he just had to say so, and I wouldn’t take offense.
Now, did I say it wouldn’t hurt?No, I didn’t, and it hurt a lot.But I couldn’t blame someone for not liking me, could I?Some people were just not meant to be adored.
I guess that was why my husband did the deed on our wedding night, and then left.I figured he just couldn’t stand me.He had to do what he did.I was a job, a chore, which is another reason I attempted to stay out of his way.
We hadn’t shared a dinner, and other than in passing, I always made sure to hide when he was around.Clearly, he hated me.
I hoped we didn’t ever have to have sex again.Not that I’d been overly curious about sex.After the way my father and brothers behaved around women, I wasn’t interested in sex or men.I just wanted to be left alone.After my wedding night, I was more than happy to be left alone.Sex was awful.
Stepping into the house, I made my way to my sewing room, and when I got there, I saw that the door was partially open, which was strange, as I knew I had closed it.This was Victor’s house, not my house.He could come and go wherever he wanted.I didn’t have a say in that.
Stepping inside, I dreaded what I would find.One day, my father was so angry with me as I refused, once again, to go in for plastic surgery to change everything that was wrong with me.He trashed my entire sewing space.I came home to find my sewing machine smashed to pieces.Precious fabric I had purchased had been torn.He’d even taken some out to the yard and burned it.The whole room had been a mess.He’d not stopped there and had destroyed all my makeup as well.
This had been a couple of years ago.In my makeup, using my red lipstick I loved, he had written the words, UGLY FAT BITCH, on my wall.That was my dad, never holding back.I cleaned up the mess that night, then cried and sobbed for hours.The tears wouldn’t stop.I think it was then I realized I would never be good enough for him.Not unless I drastically changed who I was.
I didn’t mind the way I looked.Was I beautiful?No, but I was happy.I liked my thick, long, brown, curly hair.I didn’t mind my brown eyes either, although he often told me it made me look like a cow.I was overweight.I had thick thighs, full hips, and large tits.I always had been on the larger size.No matter what diet I tried, it didn’t change my weight.He’d wanted me to go for liposuction, and that looked so painful.All the surgical options looked painful.I hated pain.
Closing the door behind me, I leaned against the door and took a deep breath.I could handle this.It wasn’t too hard.I felt tears fill my eyes, but I quickly batted them away.This was Victor’s house, and he could come and go as he pleased.Looking through the room, I felt myself sigh in relief.It was still as clean as I had left it.
There was a shirtdress I was currently making.It was the height of summer now, and I loved to make clothes a season ahead, so I was making clothes for the fall.I loved to make my own clothes.
Yeah, there was a bad memory of being taken clothes shopping.But there are some things I should never think about again.I tried to forget the bad stuff.
My dad was not here.He’d not called me.He hadn’t even been there the day after my wedding to see if I was okay.Neither had my brothers.To them, everything was done.
Stepping toward my machine, I sat down and reached into the basket, grabbing the first item, and I scrunched up my nose.It was a collar piece, and they were fiddly little devils.
I had this idea in mind of a shirtdress, as I had some beautiful cotton fabric in my stash, with a Halloween theme.I loved Halloween and Christmas.I was never a lover of Thanksgiving, but I loved the other two holidays.
Checking the time, I saw I had a good hour before dinner, so I saw no reason to dillydally, and got to sewing the dreaded collar.It took me a couple of attempts to get both sides looking equal, but as soon as I did, I trimmed the corners, pressed it, and my sewing room door opened.
It was Victor, carrying wood.
At first, we both just stared at one another.
“Uh, is something wrong?”I asked.
“You need new shelves.”He came in and placed some wood on the floor.One of his soldiers followed with more wood.I could only stare.Victor dismissed him, and then he looked at me, before looking down at the pile of wood.“I’m going to build you shelves.”
