Page 48 of Nobody Wants Me
The scent of beef filled the air, and my stomach rumbled.
Ivan had given Umberto time off.He’d given all of my staff some time off, including Rafael.Until we handled The Grid, no one was safe.My staff had gone into hiding for now.Ivan, once again was taking care of everything.I couldn’t help but wonder if there was anything that man couldn’t do.
I told Freya I was going to freshen up, and left to go to my bedroom.Entering my space, I looked to see if The Butcher had left anything for me.There was nothing.No letter, not even a threat.I took a quick shower, changed into a pair of shorts, and made my way back to the kitchen.
Freya was already serving our dinner, so I grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses.I knew she didn’t drink, but I poured her a glass just in case she would like to try some.I also took some water to the table, so she would have options.There, I was being a caring husband.I hated to admit it, but I had been a dick to her for no good reason.
Hearing some of the shit the brothers had said, that they would take turns teasing her, holding her beneath the water of the pool, or scaring her.No wonder she ended up with a house on her father’s land.I could imagine her locking that shit up tight.But then, I also remembered what she said about her father getting angry and trashing her space.Like I had trashed her quilt.I hated myself in that moment.
Freya hadn’t had an easy life.There had been no love.And it made me hate myself more for the way I’d been treating her.She didn’t deserve that kind of anger or aggression.Freya didn’t manipulate this wedding into being.This was between Ivan and Harris.My wife was innocent, and her reward was a shitty husband who didn’t appreciate her.She deserved a lot better than me.
This I did know: we were going to make this work.The more I learned about Freya, the more I wanted to make this life better for her.I knew if my mother and sister were alive, they would be embarrassed and ashamed by the way I had behaved.That was on me.
It looked like Freya had made beef stew with mashed potatoes.Even though it was still quite warm, my wife wanted hearty fall dishes.
She put a bowl full of food in front of my plate, along with her own.Picking up my fork, I dived in because I was ravenous.It was succulent, juicy, savory, and with each bite, it made me want more.
“Is it good?”she asked.
“It’s delicious.I did pour you a glass of wine if you’d like to try it.”
She looked at the glass and then shrugged.“Why not try one sip?”She didn’t wait for a response as she took a sip.“It’s good.”
From the wrinkle of her nose, I didn’t think it was.
We talked about the techniques The Butcher was teaching her.I caught her up on The Grid situation, and before long, our dinner was finished.We took our glasses of wine, and I sat with her as we watched her movie.Again, it was a romance, but the story didn’t register with me.I couldn’t help but steal glances at my wife.She finished her glass of wine, and I poured her another.However, she put the glass down and switched to water.I didn’t mind.I wasn’t attempting to get her drunk.
The movie ended and Freya leaned back.“You know, that’s all I wanted,” she said.
“What?”
“To have a big family.To ...fall in love.I know it sounds corny and I never told anyone because what is the point of telling anyone when all they tell you is how ugly you are?”
“I am going to kill your father,” I said.
This made her look toward me.I expected to see anger or tears or something.Instead, she just looked at me and nodded her head.“It’s not like I can defend him.Look what he’s done.”She sighed.
“We’ll make it right.”
“The Butcher was telling me about The Grid.No one escapes it, Victor.I’m just me.I’m a nobody.How can I escape something like that?It doesn’t seem possible.”
I cupped her cheek and forced her to look at me.“We’ll fix it.Don’t have doubts in the Volkov Bratva.We’re a lot stronger than people realize.”
But the sadness in her eyes didn’t disappear.When Freya looked at me, I knew she was thinking about her death, and that was not acceptable.
In that moment, I don’t know what came over me or why I was even feeling this way, but I wanted to kiss her.Her lips were lovely and plump.Not too big, not too little, just perfect, and I wanted to kiss her.
Running my thumb across her lips, she looked up at me, a little taken aback.“What are you doing?”
“I’m going to kiss you, Freya.Tell me to stop.”
“Stop,” she said.
And this surprised me.
“Look, I know we’re trying to make this work, but kissing me ...I don’t know if you’re doing this as some kind of order from Ivan.I don’t want this to feel forced, and I’m not going to pretend this is easy.”She got to her feet.“I hope you don’t hate me, but I’m not ready to start kissing you.”
She turned on her heel and left.
