Page 91 of Nobody Wants Me
Ivan was not going to give up.The Butcher had earned that.
Getting to my feet, I walked across the lawn, wrapping one of the quilts I had made around myself, and made my way toward the main house, toward an uncertain future.Toward my husband.
I stepped over the threshold, and a strange sensation came over me.Like I was entering another part of my life.Sealing off the past.Throwing that behind a closet within my mind that was completely locked away and would not be allowed to see the light of day.
I knew where my husband was going to be, and I walked to the doorway of his office.He stood by the fire.Winter held our territory within its grip.With everything going on, we hadn’t had time to enjoy Halloween or Christmas.There had been no time for celebrations.Not even the New Year.All we had been able to do was survive.
“This is cozy,” I said, stepping into the room.
Victor looked over at me, and there was a sad smile on his face.
“Yeah, it is.”He lifted a glass of amber liquid to his lips.“The last of the work was completed today.”
“That’s good,” I said and moved up close to him, while still holding the quilt.
I’d been back home for a month, and I hadn’t told him.The pain of losing The Butcher had been too much, and I realize now how selfish that made me.How cruel.
“I love you,” I said.The words just spilled right out of my lips as I looked at him.
Victor stared at me, and for several seconds, there was just silence.Neither of us spoke.It felt good to finally say them.
“I don’t know when I started to love you, only that I did, and lying on that cold floor, I couldn’t stop thinking about you.I couldn’t stop wondering what might have been if I had told you how I felt in the beginning.”I took a deep breath, and there was so much I wanted to say, yet I didn’t have the words at that moment.
Victor didn’t say a word.Slowly, he put the drink down and moved toward me, and then he sunk his fingers into my hair and pulled me closer to him.
I went to him.And he kissed me, his lips pressing against mine.At first, they were so soft, gentle, almost as if he was too afraid to deepen the kiss for fear I might break.I was not going to break.I was strong.I felt it.
I wanted to be with him, and I wrapped my arms around him, pressing my body against him and not letting go.I loved this man and wanted to spend the rest of my life proving it to him.He was my soul mate.The love of my life.
And The Butcher had given me a second chance, and Ivan was right.Squandering it was not the answer.Being hopeful at finding her was the answer.Living my life, because she had sacrificed hers for mine, if that was what I was supposed to believe.Then, I had to live my life.I had to do everything so it was worth it.
“I love you,” Victor said, and I sank against him, knowing that no matter what we faced, it was going to be all right.
****
The Beast
I held the schematics and all the details Ivan had asked me to acquire.It was hard.Eric The Tool didn’t keep people who built property for him alive.Those that helped to build his underground fortress were all dead.However, Eric had to leave a trail, and like little breadcrumbs, I was able to pick them up.
Ivan looked toward me.We hadn’t left Victor’s property, and I knew it was because he wanted to stay close to Freya, to help her.There was a lot more to Ivan than met the eye.
“Here it is,” I said.“You know you can’t just go sending teams in to try and grab a body,” I said.
“I’m not after a body,” Ivan said.
He took the rolled-up details and moved them toward Victor’s main bench in his shed.Victor didn’t know what we were looking at.No one did.Ivan’s instructions had been clear.Anyone who gave me these details had to die.Any trail was gone.I cleaned up after my mess.
The hunt used to give me a rush.Only now there was nothing.
I used to think The Butcher was a royal pain in my fucking ass, but she wasn’t.I missed her, and I never in a million fucking years thought I would say that, or even think that.She had been a pain in the ass from the start.Always there, everywhere I turned.I didn’t realize her death would matter to me.
Ivan didn’t believe she was gone.Neither did Freya.Only Victor and I were willing to accept the truth, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.
“This is where she blew up.The main entrance, right?”Ivan asked, pointing to the start of the building.We didn’t even get to that point.The Butcher had blown the entrance, just like she told Ivan she was going to, in order to lead Freya out to safety.
“Ivan, you know there is one entrance and one exit, and they’re gone.She set explosions throughout, and they went off.They detonated.”I tried to be the voice of reason, but Ivan was not listening.The Butcher knew what she was doing, and blowing up that building was her fail-safe.It was her way of guaranteeing her death.
“You told me Eric was a selfish little bastard.He was obsessed with himself and his own abilities, right?He couldn’t be told what to do.”
