Page 55 of Nobody Wants Me
I knew he didn’t want to have anyone else.If I divorced him, Ivan would find him another wife.Did I want to go and find a husband?
The truth was, knowing that Ivan Volkov was my brother was going to make things harder.It was bad enough having Harris as a dad, but now Ivan.Men would come to get close to him.They wouldn’t want me.I was giving up on the chance of love, but with Victor, I at least knew we were going to make this work.
“You’re not just saying that because I’m Ivan’s sister, are you?”I asked, jokingly.
Victor didn’t need to get any closer to Ivan than he already was.He was a Brigadier.Ivan trusted him.
“Yeah, totally,” he said.“It will make my life easier having the sister of my boss as my wife.”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
“It will be great.All the other Brigadiers will be jealous of the fact Ivan is going to want to come to my territory all the time to see his sister, and any kids we have are going to be nieces and nephews.They will be so envious of me.”
I laughed.I had learned enough to know that where the Brigadiers were loyal to Ivan and loved him in their own way, my brother meddled.He liked to cause trouble, or at least play devil’s advocate.
“You’d put up with that for me?”I asked.
“Yeah, I think I owe you a lot, don’t I?This is before we even start talking about kids.”
This made me take a deep breath.“You want kids?”I asked.
“Yeah, I do.What about you?”
“I do.”
“How many?”he asked.
“I want a big family, so I’d be happy with say, five or six,” I said.
I think I expected him to freak out, but instead he smiled.
“Five or six it is.”
“Yeah, but I’ve got a problem,” I said.“I don’t like sex.”
Victor sighed and I was pretty sure his face went bright red.“That’s my fault.Sex is not like that.Forgive me?”
“Forgive you?”
“Yeah, I didn’t prepare you.I just ...I was so angry, and that is no excuse, because you hate it.Give me a chance to prove that I can make this work.That I can make your toes curl and wipe out all memory of our past.”
“Okay,” I said.“But you’ve got to give me time.You’ve got to giveustime.”
“That, I can do.”
I couldn’t help but smile.
In that moment, I knew I was the happiest I had been in a very long time.I didn’t want to step off this cloud nine.Victor was more than I could have imagined.
Were we going to have a good life?I honestly didn’t know, because The Grid was still after me.My fake father was still alive.For all I knew, my fake brothers were still alive.There was no guarantee of the future but laying in the sand with my husband between my thighs, and my lips tingling, I did feel somewhat hopeful for the future we might have together.
Some may think this wasn’t perfect, but I wasn’t looking for perfect.I’d never had perfect, and finding out I’m related to Ivan Volkov and my whole life had been a lie, I thought I was handling it rather well.
