Page 34 of Nobody Wants Me
Victor had the cell phone, but other than that, there was nothing.No other source of Internet.We were cut off.There was a television, but it didn’t have streaming channels.There was a large collection of DVDs there.I even spotted some old-school VHS tapes, which was surreal to me.
There was no way for the outside world to get in, other than if they flew, and no way for us to get out.We were surrounded by ocean, and I couldn’t help but think of all the big sea creatures lurking beneath, and that alone terrified me.
Waking up in the morning, the sun was shining, and there was a slight breeze coming in through the open window.Staring at the curtains that blew back and forth, I watched them for several seconds before sitting up in bed.The sheets beneath me were so soft and dreamy.The bed itself felt like I had slept on a cloud.
Taking a deep breath, I thought about making the most of this time with Victor.The thought of my husband didn’t exactly fill me with joy.If anything, it did the complete opposite.
I didn’t know if it was possible for me to be happy.
We had a truce.But I didn’t know how this was going to work.
Running fingers through my hair, I rubbed at my face, trying to clear the last of the sleep from my brain.I could do this.
Sliding off the bed, I made my way to the bathroom.I should have known Ivan’s home on his own island would have every detail of luxury.The taps appeared to be golden and shiny.The sinks were white.Everything looked so clean and fresh.It was like we stepped into one of those super posh advertisements.It reminded me of the places my father went to.The places he boasted about.The luxury he demanded from everyone around him.
Thinking of my father, I couldn’t help but stare in the mirror and wonder where he was and what he was doing.He had put a hit out on my name.
I wanted to cry, and yet no tears would come.I didn’t know where my brothers were.My family hated me so much they would rather see me dead than happy.They married me off, and now this.
What exactly should I do?
I felt a little sick, but I knew it wasn’t because I was pregnant.I had already finished my menstrual cycle.Nothing had come from my and Victor’s wedding night.I didn’t know if I should be happy with that, or sad.
Since I was not pregnant, that meant Victor and I would have to have sex again.The first time had been bad enough.I didn’t want him to touch me.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, and then splashed some cold water onto my face.Afterward, I cleaned my teeth, brushed my hair, and decided to check out the island.I didn’t need to worry about changing my clothes, because, well, no one else was on the island.
I stepped out of my bedroom and saw Victor’s door was still closed.I knew I should probably go and get dressed but I didn’t know where any of our bags were.Making my way down the hall, I rub at the back of my head and stifle a yawn.I’m not even that tired, so I don’t know why I was yawning.
I make my way toward the main house, which is open plan.You can see the kitchen, dining room, main sitting room, and there are a couple of doors that take you to a small library.Victor and I had to find the bedrooms last night.
The sun was shining and I loved the sound of the ocean outside.Much to my surprise, there was also a distinctive sound of the birds as they sung, which I loved.I walked toward the main doors leading out onto the beach, and they were in fact open.Victor and I closed them last night.
“You’re awake.”
I spun around fast and there was Victor.He must leave his door closed once he gets up.In the short time I have known Victor, he is never without a suit.I started to think one was sewn onto his skin, which just sounded so gross.He was in the kitchen, and the shirt he wore only had a couple of buttons done up, the rest were open, showing off quite the heavily muscled and inked chest.For some reason, I had a feeling he wasn’t in long pants.I don’t know why I felt that way, I just did.
At first, I had no idea what to say to him.We hadn’t exactly gotten along, and he didn’t like that I was attempting to pull down the shelves he installed for me.Also, I had rejected his beautiful cabinet, and it was so lovely.It would look wonderful in my closet, but I was not going to accept his gifts when he didn’t have the same courtesy to accept mine.
“Morning,” I said.
My voice sounded a little croaky, and I was desperate for some coffee.The scent of it finally wafted over to me, and I found myself walking toward the kitchen.I had assumed being on a private island, Victor and I could hardly see each other, and pretty much live on either end of the island.The house was slap-bang in the center of the island.There was no way of getting away from it.
We were in this together.Kind of.
I don’t know.If he started yelling at me for no good reason, I wasn’t going to be a doormat and take it.All of my life I had taken all kinds of shit thrown at me.Accepting it was always my fault because of the way I looked, or it was something I did or didn’t do.My dad and my brothers always had a way with words.I accepted it.Not anymore.
I get that I’m not the perfect wife.I’m probably not even close to the wife Victor wanted.But that didn’t mean he could be verbally abusive anymore.I was not going to be yelled at for no good reason.
“Morning.I made coffee,” he said.“And I’m currently dealing with breakfast.”
“You cook?”
“Only if I have to.”
Rounding the kitchen, I saw he had cut up a bunch of fruit.There was even toast, jam, and what looked like yogurt.With the warmth of the day, I don’t think breakfast could have been any more perfect.
My stomach rumbled, but I ignored it, and instead opened a couple of cabinets until I found a mug.Grabbing the coffee jug, I poured myself a nice large mug full and went to the fridge to find some milk.I tended to be a plant-milk kind of girl, but I also wasn’t too picky, so I grabbed the full-fat milk and poured a little dash into my mug.There was no need for sugar.Blowing across the surface of my mug, I turned to look at Victor, to make sure this was not a ruse and when I least expected, he was going to kill me.
