Page 12 of Nobody Wants Me
I had a feeling she didn’t want to be married to me when that time came.That was more than okay with me.
Umberto came out of the kitchen, carrying a large tray.“Breakfast is served.”
He had four plates on the tray, and he placed them down for each person to take.I was starving, but at the same time, I didn’t want to fucking eat anything.
Freya would make a good mother.I hated myself for thinking it.I don’t even know why I thought she would make a good mother.I barely knew her.Her father was a piece of shit, and from what I could see, based on last night, she was used to being around cruelty.I knew what I had done was cruel, but I needed to make sure she never at any point thought there was a chance with me.Her and I ...would never happen.Not fucking ever.
I was my own man, and she was her own woman.And that was the way it was going to stay.
****
Freya
Breakfast wasn’t too bad.I noticed my husband spent most of it with a frown on his face.Ivan looked cheery, and The Butcher was very talkative.
Umberto brought out the coffee as we started our breakfast, which I was thankful for, as I was so tired.I did not sleep at all last night.I’m hoping no one could tell.
I was a little surprised for both of our guests to show an interest in my dress.I didn’t actually own anything from the stores.I stopped buying clothes a long time ago.Ever since I started sewing, my mission has been to have a completely homemade wardrobe.
After breakfast, Victor and Ivan had some business to attend to, and this meant I had to spend time with The Butcher.Usually, I went out to the garden to help Rafael, but taking our guest to work didn’t exactly feel appropriate.Instead, I took her on the tour of the house.Victor never showed me around.He just showed me my room, and the place he stored my sewing, and that was it.
Our month of marriage hadn’t exactly been ideal.I don’t believe my husband could stand me.I think he hated me.I’m not sure what I’d done to inspire such hatred, but clearly, I must have done something.You don’t hate someone for no good reason.
“So, that is every room, and the pool.At least downstairs,” I said.
The Butcher looked at me and smiled.“You’re not good at this, are you?”
“What?”
“Being the center of attention,” The Butcher said.
“No, uh, I’m not.I’m sorry.I honestly don’t know what I’m doing.”
“It’s good,” The Butcher said.“You want to show me your sewing room?Maybe show me some of the stuff you made?”
“You’d want to see that?”
“Why not?”The Butcher asked.
“It is kind of boring.”
The Butcher folded her arms across her chest.“I’m getting kind of irritated with you saying it’s boring.Do you enjoy it?”
“Well, yeah—”
“Then shut the fuck up and show me.Trust me, if I didn’t want to be here, I wouldn’t be.”
And so, I took The Butcher up to my sewing room, and I let her step inside.I hadn’t come in here since last night.Since I delivered the quilt as a gift.I didn’t know what I expected as I stepped over the threshold.Some kind of ...feeling.Sadness?Sick?Tired?Hatred?
Victor tearing up his quilt did not affect this room.I couldn’t help but smile as I quickly moved toward the window and opened it to allow some air to circulate.
You know what, fuck him.Victor was a dick—a giant dick—and I was not going to allow it to affect my love of sewing.If he didn’t like what I made, then it was on him, not me.Just thinking that made me feel so much better.
I turned to see The Butcher looking at me.
“Stick with that feeling,” The Butcher said.
“Huh?”
