Page 33 of Billionaire's Sins
"Ava," I reach for her, then withdraw my hand. "You’re wrong. We have a connection, something that is unique and will always bind us together. But I can’t act on it. You understand that, right?"
"I do, but do you?" She swallows. "Perhaps that’s why you feel the need to continuously run into me? So, you can tell yourself that there can’t be anything between us. And yet, you keep finding excuses to come to me."
I purse my lips. "That won’t happen again."
Her lower lip trembles, her eyes fill with fresh tears, her shoulders shudder, and help me, God, but I can’t stop myself. I pull her to me, and wrap my arms around her. "I’m sorry, I truly am. I wish I could do something about this situation, but I can’t."
"You can." She sniffles. "You can leave the Church."
I stiffen. "That’s not going to happen; I take my vows seriously. When everything else around me was collapsing, the Church was there for me. I found solace in The Lord. He’s the reason I was able to go on with my life and why I am standing here today. I can’t abandon Him at the first instance I face a crisis of faith."
"Is that what you think I am?" She pulls back in the circle of my arms, "A crisis?"
"You are—" I peer into those beautiful green eyes of hers, "the most beautiful, most gorgeous, most loving woman I have ever met. Your passion for what you do, the intensity with which you live every moment, your sheer vivacity is unparalleled, Ava. You deserve someone better than me. Someone who can give you everything you desire."
"I want you."
"I am not yours to have."
She tries to pull away, but I tighten my hold on her. "No, don’t leave, please just listen to me."
She huffs, then stills in my arms. "What is it?" she mumbles under her breath. "What do you want to tell me?"
"I’ll never forget you, Ava. Never forget how you smile, how you laugh with your entire spirit, how when you’re angry about something, your eyes flash. How when you dance, you put your entire mind and body and soul into it. You become one with the rhythm, Ava, and if that isn’t true worship, I don’t know what is."
She stares up into my face. "I… I don’t understand," she whispers. "What are you trying to tell me?"
"I thought I could be friends with you. God knows, I’ve tried. But I underestimated the intensity of the chemistry between us. Clearly, I am not strong enough to resist it." My throat closes. I swallow down the ball of emotions, then peer into her eyes. "Try to understand, what I am doing is for the best."
She shakes her head, "No, no, please don’t."
"I won’t try to see you again. I won’t approach you. I’ll let you go so you may live your life to the fullest, only..." I squeeze my eyes shut, "only I won’t be there to see it."
"Don’t do this, Edward," she implores me. "You’re not even giving us a chance."
"I am giving you the best possible chance at living."
"I’ll die without you."
I half smile. "No, you won’t. You’ll survive, you’ll thrive, you’ll embrace your dreams, fulfill your destiny. You’ll become a well-known dancer, a devoted wife, the kind of mother every child should have." Pain twists my insides and my breath catches. I hunch my shoulders, force myself to step back from her.
She closes the space between us, launches herself at me. "I won’t let you go. I won’t let you do this to us."
"It’s done." I should push her away, keep distance between us, but as she tilts her chin up, I find I don’t have the strength. I pull her close, wind my arms about her, hold her as if I’ll never get the chance again... Which I won’t.
She holds my gaze and her features pale. A teardrop rolls down her cheek, and I bend down, then lick it up.
She stills. "Why did you do that?"
I swallow down the salty taste, then release her again. "So, I’ll always have you with me."
"You have my heart, Edward."
"No, I don’t." I take a step away from her. "You must keep it safe with you, Ava, so you can give it to a man who deserves it more than me."
13
Ava
