I grimace. "It wasn’t pretty. Then, after one particularly vicious argument, during which she told me exactly what she thought of my fathering skills, she took Riley and walked out. I think she had planned to leave Riley with me for the night, but I was such a jerk... She accused me of being insensitive. She told me that paying for everything wasn't enough. I needed to be more present in my daughter's life.”
I press the heels of my palms to my eyes.
“She threatened to take Riley and leave me. Told me I probably wouldn‘t even notice. The worst thing is, she was probably right. I was furious. I knew she was upset and I shouldn’t have let her drive. But I was so angry." I squeeze my eyes shut. The ball of hurt in my chest grows bigger, wider, until it seems to consume all of me and I shudder. Tears prick the backs of my eyes. "I should have stopped her. I should have been the father Riley needed me to be. Instead, on her sixth birthday, I stood over a rock with her name engraved on it, and cried."
She makes a sound deep in her throat. "Oh, Damian." She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me close until our lips meet. She kisses my mouth, my cheeks, reaches up to kiss me across my closed eyelids.
"The memories of those we love don’t fade; they become a part of us. They’re imprinted in our cells, in everything we do, and as time passes, everything you do, they do with you," she whispers against my skin. "You did the best you could at the time; it does no good to look at the past and berate yourself. You need to forgive yourself for what happened, Damian."
"I'm sorry I tried to make our relationship transactional, sorry I tried to turn what was between us into a business arrangement. Can you ever forgive me for that, Flower?"
"Shh!" She presses her fingers across my lips, "It's forgiven. You are a good man Damian, and you tried your best to be a good father. We can only work in the moment with the information we have. The rest is not really in our hands, is it?" She cups my cheek, "Behind that alphaholish persona is a sensitive man who feels deeply, who cares a lot about those in his life. It's what makes you the kind of artiste whose words resonate with millions. Don't ever lose that, Damian."
I glance down into her serious green eyes, "When did you become so wise?"
"Just the life I’ve lived, I guess." She laughs lightly. "I ran away to broaden my horizons, and came back with the realization that everything I needed was right here." She takes my hand and places it over her heart, "Know what I mean?"
"I do." I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "Will you ever forgive me, for everything I put you through?"
"On one condition." Her lips kick up. "Make love to me."
50
Julia
His gaze intensifies. He lowers his head and kisses me—softly, sweetly, then with increasing urgency. The world tilts and I open my eyes to find he’s on his feet. He lifts me up, then walks inside to the bedroom. He lowers me to my feet in front of the bed, then whips off his T-shirt.
I rake my gaze down his ripped eight-pack and gasp. "What’s that?"
His lips quirk, "What do you think it is?"
I close the distance to him, then run my fingers across the cursive tattooed over his heart.
The font is the same as the one he’d used to ink Riley’s name on his forearm.
"You inked my name on your chest?" I finally ask.
"I got it before the wedding and never got to show it to you. Every time I saw it, it only made me feel worse about walking out on you the way I did."
"Oh." My heart flips in my chest.
"I didn't realize what I was going to do, not until I'd walked into the tattoo parlor and found myself under the needle. I knew then, what I wanted inked into my skin. I hadn’t even told you how I felt yet, but somehow, it felt right, you get me?" He tilts his head, "I had to do something to show you that you are part of me. Then," he squeezes his eyes shut, "I walked out on you at the hospital." The tendons of his throat move as he swallows. "When I realized what a fool I'd been, how I'd hurt you, even that gesture didn't seem enough."
"That's why you declared your feelings on social media?" I raise my gaze to his.
He cracks open his eyelids and that fiery blue gaze of his fills my line of sight. "I had to do something to make up for the anguish I caused you."
"What you did," I swallow, "it was incredibly brave of you. And moving… No one’s ever done something like that for me," I glance back down at my name written across his chest, "or like this."
"And no one else ever will."
I lean up on tip-toe and kiss him. "You’re crazy, you know that?"
"Crazy in love with you." He deepens the kiss, then bends his knees and grips the backs of my thighs. I climb him, wrap my legs around him, throw my arms around his shoulders and open my mouth to him.
He reaches the bed, lowers me onto the mattress then follows me down and covers my body with his. I cling to him, dig my heels into his back, drag my fingers down his thick neck.
He leans back, then reaches between us to grip the lapels of my shirt. He rips it and I gasp.